Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Divorce (part 3)

I would like to believe that my marital situation (or lack thereof) was unique and no one knows what I experienced; but that would be a fallacy. For it is written: there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9 NIV). It took 6 years of separation before I signed the divorce papers. I know what God says about divorce and I also know what I felt. Reconciliation, reconstruction, with a plethora of promises had their moments but understanding the problem wasn't there. Agreement for marital counseling came too late, and then while searching through the Word, I found that loop hole I was looking for. The one verse that allowed me to be free from the chains binding me. If one chooses to leave, let him go. For God has called us to peace (1 Corinthians 7:15 KJV). That was it! I signed the papers and allowed the process to end one thing; however, I didn't know it would begin something else.

The quiet that one seeks in a home isn't the same as the righteousness quiet the bible speaks of (Isaiah 32:17 KJV). Mothers know when it is too quiet, depending on the children, trouble isn't too far behind? The head of the household is gone. Did he pray for the children? Was his presence necessary to keep deranged and perverted thoughts from coming to their minds? Saved or not, he is the other half of their emotional, mental, physiological, spiritual, and social health.The bible states that staying married keeps the children clean (1 Corinthians 7:14 AMP). Clean from what?

Think about it. What does a woman have to do when she becomes single with children? Work, stay saved, go back to school, stay saved, pay for day care, stay saved, make sure the children has some kind of recreation, stay saved, tend to the children's extracurricular activities, and did I mention - stay saved? What are they thinking? Who influenced them along the way? Yesterday? Last week? What were they doing at the sitter's? Who were they playing with? What occupies their time now? This was a mother's concern before the divorce.Yes, it might still be a concern but the truth is, it is not paramount. Keeping a roof overhead, clothes on their backs, food on the table, and the lights on are.

God hates sin. God hates divorce(Malachi 2:16 AMP). Hate is a strong word, yet it is apropos. If we could see the detriment before it actually happens, would we do it anyway? When in love our minds aren't as practical as they were before having a relationship. Once in the relationship, we think a little more practical with responsibilities and mindful of the other person's needs. This, somehow goes awry when divorce is the resolve. Practicality goes out the window and the children seem to be the casualties. This is the reason why God hates divorce and it goes even further. Because without both parents many children grow up resentful and the scripture will do what it says. It is better that a millstone be put around his neck and he tossed into the sea then for anyone to offend the little ones (Matthew 18:6 AMP). Divorce isn't as easy as signing a few papers. Think about it responsibly.

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