Saturday, April 12, 2014

An Apple a Day...

I woke up one morning thinking of all I had to do before the end of the day. I do this most mornings.
Oddly, a feeling of dread came over me wanting to just stay in the bed. Now this part is going to sound strange. In my mind, I have a list of what I need to do. In my heart, I know if I don't do half of the list, I won't like the remainder of the day...and still that feeling of staying in the bed, when it has no part of my personality was looming. What was that? Where does it come from and why was it anywhere around me?

Some people think to forge ahead and do what it is you have to do while others think its God and they will stay in the bed. What I do is investigate so I won't have to deal with this thing again. I whole heartily believe what Jesus did was for my good and anything that is not good must be kept away... like that looming feeling for me to stay in the bed. Many days, I have to deliberately make up my mind to keep to that list in order to reach my short and long termed goals. Those times can make for a busy day but when making a list of all of those things to be done and spreading them throughout the week, at the end of the month ( a new list every Sunday) I am pleased with how much I have accomplished. I gather the lists at the end of the month (and year) and find how much closer I am in completing the goal or rejoicing that it is done. This is also true in other matters.

Have you ever worked or lived near a community of people that spoke a different language then the one you are use to? Sometimes you feel they are talking about you especially when you know they could speak your language if they wished to. Did you ever think about learning that language too. You know, in your spare time. If you learn one word everyday for a year, that's 365 words you didn't know and a few steps closer in being able to understand what is being said and actually have a conversation right back with them. It rids you of confusion, speculation, and most of all - error.

Why not? Why won't we make that effort? We do it when it comes to our health...well, most of us do. We take vitamins and minerals for prevention. We exercise and control our diets for optimization of health.  We take medications that have been prescribed so we won't return to ill health. So why not make an effort to do other things that can give ourselves more of an advantage? Its not like we can't do it! And actually, these days, people see those that speak more then one language as being super smart. Its not that hard, All it takes is discipline.

Wait is that the culprit? When I realized that the Word of God is the key for the abundant life He offers to those that believe, I was all over it learning all I needed to about my Lord and Savior. Just when I think I got it down, I hear another portion of a sermon and am surprised at how much more there is. Yet, its always refreshing. Its like a treasure trove that hasn't been tapped into yet. How do you think I get all of this material to write? It took some doing to change habits for me to pray and study the Word. The flesh would have me to be an illiterate....but God. It wasn't as hard once I made up my mind to do it and isn't that the definition of a disciplined person? Now all I need to do is harness this same discipline to get my waist back into the 20's again.

It used to be said when I was a child, that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Later, I heard to remember the ABC's and you will stay healthy. Those ABC's being, apples, beets, and celery. If juiced and consumed every morning, one would either stay healthy or maintain health. Could this be true with spiritual health and the Word? What are you believing for? Have you found the corresponding verse in the Word of God? Have you said it everyday? Why not try saying, God loves me everyday, before you leave your home. After 365 days, there should be a change within you or around you. How can something so simple do so much? Comment on the changes you have experienced below this time next year.... that is, if the Lord tarries.

As for that feeling of dread looming the moment you try to get out of the bed, I had to ask myself, "did I rest anytime this week?" When I know that I haven't, I answered the original question of why. Being the righteousness of  God through Christ Jesus and it being one of the ingredients to Kingdom Life, I know dread has no part of that and has no business being around me (Romans 14:17 KJV). So it has to be something I have done or have neglected to do. Even under a new dispensation, as Christians we are accountable for our actions. We are presenting these bodies as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1 AMP). God tells us to be thou holy for He is holy (1 Peter 1:16 AMP). How holy is it for us to work 24 hours a day - 7 days a week when He didn't do it (Genesis 2:2 AMP)? Do you see yourself greater then God? To what purpose are you working so hard? Those efforts will cause you ill health and without asking for forgiveness or changed behavior, deliverance waits. All of your efforts in working so hard will be for nothing.

There are 52 weeks in a year. 52 of those days out of that one year are meant for you to rest. If you find it difficult to do at the end of the week, take 4 days off at the end of the month or 24 days off at the end of 6 months. There are means for you to be pleased with completing goals while keeping your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. This will keep dread away and continued satisfaction in the Lord.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Service With A Smile

Why would you think as soon as you find the person you are to marry that your services are no longer needed. If you served in order for her/him to be noticed to date, why do you think it changes? This is more true of men then it is of women. Women know, seeing we are married we are to submit to our husbands and he is looking for her to be obedient to him. But what about his service? Is he not to love his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25 AMP)? What does he think that means? Jesus served. He washed the feet of the disciples. He humbled himself (John 13:5-10 AMP). When a man speaks of his wife being submitted to him, does that sound humble? When reminding of his wife about submission, does that sound like what Jesus did with the church? Jesus said that He came not to condemn man but for him to have life and have it more abundantly (John 3:17 AMP). Does he have that same characteristic when he interacts with her? If he doesn't have it while dating, he won't be this way during the marriage.

I recall a young man telling me that his mother taught him not to be embarrassed when he had to go to the store to purchase his wife's feminine products. He also claimed that his mother taught him how to cook as well, just in case she would need for him to do so if nothing else for himself. He was pleased that he had all of these skills and knew it was a selling point to tell the woman of his desires for her to marry him. He did find a woman that appealed to him, yet when she asked him to do all of those things his mother had taught him to do, it was like pulling teeth from a brick. He found every excuse not to do it and called her lazy for asking him. It got to the point where he thought killing a bug was too much for him to do for her. His reasoning was, what if he weren't there and the children needed her protection? He said she needed the practice in killing bugs and spiders herself. Is it a wonder why she didn't feel affectionate towards him in a few years after they married? If she continued her service with a smile despite his services towards her, would there be consequences in his life? Is God in agreement with this man and his reasoning (Matthew 5:44 AMP)?

A young woman, not knowing until brought to her attention, looked at her husband in disdain because he found it difficult to keep a job. She could not respect a man that had her as a wife and family to support yet did not do whatever he could to stay employed. It became increasingly difficult for her to talk to him without bickering. She knew what her obligation to do as a Christian was, but for some reason, it was too much for her to be kind and loving to the man she promised herself to. Was it her fault? Because he cannot keep a job and is the head of her, could she lose her Christian principles? Did she have a right to be disrespectful towards him (1 Peter 3:2 AMP)?

A woman at her desk was called into her supervisor's office. The supervisor tells her that the work schedule is wrong and has made some changes that is more comparable to the order of things in the work place. The woman looks at the schedule and sees that all of her days that she has had for the last 3 years have been changed. Her supervisor tells her that this is the schedule that they agreed to months ago. The woman disagreed and told her supervisor it was a mistake. She continued that she never agreed to those changes. The supervisor claimed that the meeting with all of the employees at the beginning of the year never said anything including her. So it was the schedule agreed to and there is nothing she could do about it. The woman realizing she was fighting a losing battle gets up to leave. Just then she remembered that she had an email and it confirms what she had been saying, She sends the email to her supervisor. The supervisor sends a response, there will be no changes to the schedule. Is this a fight that needs to be taken to Human Resources? Would it be worth it knowing this woman would have to go back and work with this same supervisor? Can she come back the next day smiling ready to work knowing that her supervisor is less then honorable? Would God be pleased if she did or would He be more pleased if she quit (Ephesians 6:5-10 AMP)?

These are some of the things we go through as Christians and for some, these things are minute and elementary to deal with. For others, it is the reason your peace is troubled. It reminds me when I was a child. I have an older brother who used to tease me incessantly. He would be thrilled the more I shrieked for him to leave me alone. Sometimes we would wrestle and other times it would be physically fighting. I would be hitting him as hard as I could and he would just laugh. The thing is, we never crossed the line to pick up a weapon to hurt one another. There would have been serious and more than likely fatal damage if we had. My point is, when or why would anyone go beyond the boundaries that have been given to us (Galatians 5:16-25 AMP)?

We know who we are in Christ. We know what is expected of us. We know that if we don't pass these tests, the test will continue to come back until we do. When dating, people have silly ideas they need to do in order to see what is your tolerance level. Yes, this is a tt to. If anyone decides to do such mind games, walk away. He /she will continue to do so and it is a seed sown that you will have to suffer if you continue with the relationship anyway.

I originally wrote this entry for the Christian Singles blog. In it, it answers a Christian's need to find their own spouse or why he/she must be patient in waiting for God. This does answer that question to some degree. It also answers to the Christian single why he/she isn't comfortable with their choice. People have reasons for doing and living in the matter they choose. Some like their mess. That doesn't mean you have to wallow in it too. If they can find a reason to retaliate when Jesus says that the revenge belongs to Him, who are you to do otherwise? You have more reason to smile knowing that you have an ally that has your back (Hebrews 3:5 AMP).

Monday, March 24, 2014

Ministers Aren't Assigned To Have Their Butts On Their Shoulders

There are these Southern sayings that are supposed to be sopping in Wisdom, trouble is, you have to understand what they mean in order to partake. It took me forever to understand that a stitch in time saves nine....come to find that it actually does! One that I use occasionally: he must not think that fat meat is greasy. Meaning, its obvious to everyone else but him. Another is, that's as wrong as two left shoes. Meaning, something is the matter and can be easily changed. So what could it mean to have one's butt up on their shoulders? It can't be literal, though you would think it might if you've heard some of the things that come out of the mouths of some believers.

What happens to some people when they get a title? I mean, they have been working towards this goal for so long and then when they obtain it, something goes left. What happens? There is no need to waste time on sinners with this question, because the answer would be obvious. I am talking about the faith filled, loyal, charismatic, love the Lord with all your heart, love people with all you have, and desire is to build your treasure in heaven sort of  believer (Matthew 6:20 AMP). He/she hears a message from the Lord and believes the calling that is on their lives is towards this or that. A plan must be in order to make that vision an actual means by which to live. Everyday, this person is acknowledging God and giving Him all of the praise. Everyday, this person is seeking a way to bless someone else's life without ulterior motive because he/she knows that this is pleasing to God. Everyday, accomplishing one more step on his/her plan to obtain that goal. Sounds good, doesn't it? Its what we all should be doing when we know who we are in Christ.

I was interested in some singers that has entertained us over the years. The music was so apart of their lives, they had to find other venues to express the talent that God put on the inside of them. Some how, it just wasn't enough to just sing in the church. They had to cross over in the secular lifestyle to satisfy this need. Why didn't they see this as temptation or a test in Christ? Why didn't they remember the singers of the past that have either lost their careers or their lives? One singer, in particular, was having an issue with this dilemma. She believed that because God gave her this gift, then she should be using it for His glory. She pondered over the matter and then finally took it to the pastor's wife. The wife advised the fledgling singer that whatever she wished to do, she and the ministry would support her. The woman decided to sing secular music. When asked why she crossed over, she answered, "I asked the first lady of the church and she said she will support me in whatever I decide." I found the advice strange for a Christian to give to another. Scripture tells us that if we are a friend to God then we are an enemy to the world or if we are friend to the world and an enemy to God (James 4:4 AMP). We cannot have it both ways. We cannot serve God and mammon (Matthew 6:24 AMP). So how was this sound advice for the woman seeking counseling (Proverbs 11:14 AMP)? Doesn't anyone think there will be a consequence or do you think its worth those few years (if that) of fame?

I have been taking my time getting this degree in a Christian school. I have looked over the material over and over again and absolutely love writing essays and mid-term research papers, but in Christian school, I wondered where was my motivation? I got through my under-grad but I was doing this to encourage my children so they would continue with their education. They have. Now here is my opportunity to get what I have planned on for so long. I called the dean of academic affairs for a specific question. I introduced myself to her before beginning and she greeted me with, "Oh hello Minister Lenora." Huh? I paused and then stuttered. I had to ask why she called me this. She answered, "Aren't we all ministers in God?" I didn't respond to her question at first because I have to admit, I was a little giddy about her calling me a minister. But then once I got myself together to continue with what I called her for, I realized she was right. We all are whether we have the title or not (2 Corinthians 5:18 AMP). So what happened to the brother or sister in Christ with the title. Do you get all giddy and never come back to where God found you (2 Timothy 4:5 AMP)? What happened to the humility? What happened with being meek? Just, what happened?


Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Evil For Evil

Have you ever felt like doing something like that? You know, revenge (Romans 12:19 AMP). Of course you have. Whenever you asked God to turn back the clock for you because you finally thought of something you could have said when someone capped on you. Do you know what capped means? Not being shot. It means when someone said something witty and mean to you and you didn't know you were insulted until minutes or hours, if not days, later. Then you think about what was said and now know what you could have said (Mark 13:11 AMP). Once you get a really good enough thing to say, you've missed the opportunity to say it.

Have you ever asked God to give you that chance again? Or have you ever asked God to give you something to say that is better than the cap that was made on you? Why is it that we never think of the scriptures that we need to say (Philippians 4:8 AMP) ? Why not bless that person so much that everyone says, "oooh" because of what you did? Does that sound weird? If so, why do you think that is?

I remember someone said something to me and I thought of what to say back months later. That's right, months. I couldn't believe that someone that looked like she ate corn through a knot hole in the fence had anything derogatory to say about me. And when I thought what I could have said, it was way too late. There were so many times that moment kept floating through my mind. I never thought it was necessary to do anything other then shrug it off as a learning moment and let it go. Oddly, it kept showing up. The very same thing over and over even when it had nothing to do with anything that was actually going on. Was I going crazy? No, I wasn't going crazy but I had to recognize that still, small voice. My deliverance came when I heard the lesson and was able to teach someone else so not to make the wrong turn through this journey we have claimed as life (Deuteronomy 30:19 AMP).

Is it crazy to ask God to do something for you when He tells us to do the very opposite? Yes, it is crazy! If you think about it rationally, would God give you an insult to hurt someone? In order for God to do this, He would have to tell the devil to consider you like He did with Job. Job's actions and requests were from fear. When we ask God to do something that opposes righteousness and holiness, you receive from the one that holds those attributes - your enemy. Do you need to be in a field scraping your open sores? Then don't ask God to do anything oppositional then what He tells for us to do (1 Peter 1:13-16 KJV).

Be good. Think good thoughts. And despite the stupidity of others, kill that nasty spirit with kindness. This is being more like God rather than your old self that should have passed away. Amen?

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Deck The Halls!

Its that wonderful time of year again. Its the time when all religions come together whether they believe in the reason for the season or not, and do what we are all supposed to be doing all year. Its the time when all people recognize and acknowledge that there needs to be peace on earth and good will toward all men. Its when joy is abound and giving is the foundation for all. Though unbelievers say when they give, its not for the holiday, yet they aren't giving at any other time with as much happiness. I love this time of year!

For believers, we waffle with whether to decorate the house, home or even have a tree. I did the same thing. It was lousy not having a tree. It was only lousy because I was so use to having one. The reason I didn't put up a tree that one Christmas was from what I read out of the scriptures. I saw that the tree was idolized and decorated as a thing to worship. I then equated what I was doing must be insulting to God. I felt guilty and repented. I was so young in Christ back then. I laugh at that behavior now.

You see, what people did in the Old Testament they did trying to recuperate from the disobedience of Adam. They were under the old covenant law of which they had to abide by or die. Being a new creation in Christ, gives us the liberty that the Old Testament Christian didn't have. The Word is clear about abiding under the law (Galatians 3:10 AMP). You must do all that is required to maintain righteousness. This includes animal sacrifice for atonement of sins. Though some think this act is unreasonable, how can you (in your state of wrongness) pick and choose what to and not to do, not knowing what is right unless you are taught? Who is doing the teaching? Is it someone who fared well in making excuses for not abiding under the whole law or
has God been merciful to you too?

Believing in Christ is much more then just enjoying Christmas. His birth is what the children of Israel had been waiting for. They called on the Messiah and He came. Born in a manger with the very animals that were used to sacrifice for atonement (Luke 2 AMP). His birth in of itself is a message to all who had been bound under the law. The stirring of those who had been waiting came to see the miracle of His birth. The 3 wise men traveled for miles being led by a star. Through the weather conditions, the outside elements that they might have come against, with all of the other stars shining, those 3 men presevered to get to the Messiah (Matthew 2:1-12 AMP).

This is the image I think of when I trim my tree every year. All of the twinkling lights represent the stars in the sky. This one tree is representing all of the other trees that the wise men had to go passed to get to the manger. The ornaments represent the outside elements that may have or not served as obstacles for them. And at the very top which God is the Head of it all, is His guidance leading them through to get to their destination - the star. The presents, isn't it obvious?

In keeping with the theme of this blog, wondering why life is treating you like this or that, could it be what you have done to yourself (Galatians 4:1-7 AMP)? Could it have anything to do with believing a lie when on the inside you would like to celebrate the Savior's birth too? Its alright, enjoy Christmas, it was meant for you too. By the way, have a Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Women's Day (Part 1)

There will come a time where the females in the church will pronounce a special day dedicated to the women
who do so much in the ministry. There might be a dinner, luncheon, or a tea  honoring the first lady and some of the other female ministers. When all is said and done and it is time for the speaker to get up and minister the Word, the common place to go is Proverbs 31 where the virtuous woman can be looked at from a different perspective or the same things will be reiterated. Esther is another favorite, where the speaker will use how a woman can lose or keep her man depending where the emphasis is placed. Or maybe the book of Ruth where it will be taught how humble Ruth became to cling to her mother in law and be that support Naomi needed in her time of grief. How do I know this? Its been done over and over again. What keeps women from attending these functions is the loyalty of being members of that ministry and showing off the new clothes purchased for the event.

Is this an insensitive way to put it? Maybe, still my hope is that it is remembered for change to take place. We cannot keep maneuvering in such a way and not do as God has been telling us repeatedly. He calls us to watch and pray. He also tells us to walk in love in all that we do (Ephesians 5:1-3 AMP). And finally, we are to rightly divide the Word so that we will never be directed on a path of error (2 Timothy 2:15 AMP). So let's tackle this Women's Day with those topics that have been regurgitated for God's children to eat. It didn't come from the Lord's table and my aim is to prove it.

The Proverbs 31 woman, more commonly known as the Virtuous woman. I won't be using Webster's definition of virtue because it has changed as the years do. God is the same, yesterday, today, and forever. So let's use what is indicative of Him - His Word. The woman was created for the soul purpose of being of assistance to man (Genesis 2:18 AMP). Now its out there on front. I have no idea why women don't make mention of that on Women's Day. Its danced around but never point blank. Well, there it is! No more identity crisis. You were created as a time such as this...to be of some assistance to a man. He doesn't necessarily have to be someone you are married to - but you are to be a help to some man. Now this doesn't mean that you are to do anything outside of righteousness. If he is tired of his wife or she doesn't understand him, this is not your place to be of assistance. Step back, send him to his wife or pastor. You are out of place trying to counsel a married man. There is no virtue in that, just ignorance and a means to be tempted.

In dispelling some of the myths that have been taught in the Proverbs 31 woman, we must understand the
example used of a woman who is a domestic engineer - a housewife. However, she is not cemented into her home, not able do other things. Notice that she gets up early to pray and study the Word...that's spiritual food. She also makes sure the house servants know what their duties are. This means she is of means where she can afford to have a house staff. See that she is away from the house conducting business with merchants (Proverbs 31:16 AMP). This means not only that she shops for her home but that she can have a business. Ministry has taught this passage with her being a house wife and that's all she can be. This is not true. All women have different passions in life. All men are not the same; therefore, women meeting the needs of a specific man, has a myriad of gifts. If the bible was to make examples of all of the things a woman can do, there would not be enough room for the rest of the books. What is written is an example. We must be able to see where the virtue is and what has been given in order to compare to know that it was right. This is rightly dividing the Word as it has been directed for us to do. We must be able to practically apply it in our lives.

Women's Day (Part 2)

In rightly dividing the Word, we are supposed to be listening to what is being taught and then having the
desire to study for ourselves. Take out those notes, our bible and spend time to see if the Word was quoted correctly and if it was used in the proper context. With all of those things in order, then and only then could we use the message in applying it into our lives or to use in discussions or to help someone in their time of need. Anything else without these matters in place is a person in error and causing others to be as well. You will discover this as you continue to read.

In the first part of this post, hopefully the idea that a virtuous woman can only be if she is a house wife has been dispelled. Her priority is in Christ and then doing what He has called her to do. This is the message that I didn't hear and is why I write. The other passages under the guise of "Women's Day" also kept the real message from being expounded upon. I am not sure if the reasoning is trying to only teach what the people can be comfortable in hearing or if the ministers were directed not to
preach such things. I don't have those constraints.

The book of Esther is one of those popular sermons where it has been said, to the group of women I was seated with, that if a woman wishes to keep her husband she should do as Esther has done and not Queen Vashti. It was also reiterated of the respect Esther had for her Uncle Mordeccai and for her husband once she became Queen. She also was obedient which is why she was highly favored (though her looks added to some of the benefit). While I took in these lessons, it wasn't until much later in my own studies did I wonder if the female ministers read the entire book of Esther or just the passages that seemed pertinent for the message. I also wondered if these lessons were from the Lord or something seen on television or recorded and watched to be taught again and again. If so, that was not from the Lord's table. The Lord may have prepared a meal in the presence of our enemies, but rest assured the meal had not been eaten before and regurgitated for us to swallow (Psalms 23:5 AMP).

To understand Esther in the role that was thrust upon her, you must first see the king for who he actually was. He was a foolish man. He held parties that lasted far longer then necessary and the only one enjoying his parties was him (Esther 1:1-8 AMP). He would have the food and drinks placed for everyone but no one would be drinking but him. Then when he called for his wife, Vashti, she was tired having thrown her own party for the women and was't about to be humiliated as she has been putting up with the king's drunken behavior before (Esther 1:9-12 AMP). She refused him. The king could have pouted for a moment and been over it. But the princes had to be bored. They were the ones that started thinking that the queen had some influence and would cause for their wives to be just as impassive (Esther 1:16-20 AMP). That was fear doing the thinking for them. Seeing the king was not of a sober mind, he listened and acted on that thought of
fear. This is what caused for the queen to lose her position.

Now Esther, she was a child. Not knowing what happened to her actual parents gives some perspective as to why Esther's demeanor was the way it was. She had been obedient and without a doubt her Uncle, a godly man, prayed for her. We also don't know if her Uncle had anymore children of his own. Assuming that he didn't, because the Word never tells us that he went back to his home or to his wife and family, he kept a close watch on his niece. Never did I ever hear how close knit this family was and why Esther may have felt that way; however when her surroundings changed so did she.

Why do you think Esther went from a humbling, obedient, quiet child that was highly favored to one that was going to give her Uncle a directive? He told her what was needed to be done to save the people and that she was placed in the position for this very reason. Instead of her seeing the big picture, she looked at how she had been trained to do as the king ordered (Esther 4:8-11 AMP). The order was, not to disturb the king unless he called for you. Did you notice how Mordeccai got her head back together (Esther 4: 12-17 AMP)? He reminded her where she came from. She saw her position being greater then the niece of her Uncle. Actually, it was...only Esther was a child and didn't see that. She had a decision to make and this may have been the last time her Uncle could give her a directive to follow. After all, she is the queen and needed to be about serving her husband not her Uncle. But, again, this isn't the message that was taught in the services I attended or those I've seen.

Now this is the part that most female speakers get trapped in and deliver the oration as a show on how to be that domestic engineer that all men desire in a woman. What is ministered is that the woman needs to be able to read her man (know his ways). She should not come at him the moment he comes home, but she should allow him to relax, draw him a bath, serve him a hot meal. Then after he has finished and is in a better state of mind, ask what you will. Then the scripture is used in seeing what Esther did with the king just for him to reconsider what he had ordered (Esther 5 AMP). Yeah right! Did we not establish that Esther is a child? Did we not already establish that she had no clue as to what to do with any man much less her husband? And if you keep reading, she didn't ask him with the first dinner, or the second. What I wondered was, what happened afterward? I mean after the order was over and Haman was executed? Did Esther continue cooking her man's meals or did she have those servants do as they have been hired to do? And isn't that manipulative? Does a man appreciate a conniving woman? Is this seed sown and now her husband can be the same way? Is this the sort of thing a woman hopes the rest of her life must consist of in order to speak to her husband? Its ridiculous, isn't it? It sounds like a hard task to keep up with especially when a woman
never had to go through such foolishness as a single person living her life righteous before the Lord. Why would God make marriage hard for us? Answer: He wouldn't.

The real lesson in Esther for the purpose of Women's Day is the childishness of the king listening to the advice of princes. He got what he deserved. The equivalence of who he is. All of those parties and allowing for those who were not chosen to be king have control of the decision making, got him a wife that was equally yoked with his personality. She was a child easily to be controlled and manipulated. We saw this when Mordeccai told Esther what to do. He was no longer in that position to do that, but she adhered to his direction. The princes told the king what to do. They were not in a position to make that decree themselves and if the king knew his place, he would have put those princes in theirs.

When a woman accepts the proposal of a man, she must know that he has the confidence, assertiveness, and aggression to hold the position as being the head of her. He has some direction of where he would like to be and is appreciative of the help that she is able to give to get him there. If its all about him and he doesn't love her as Christ loves the church, and therefore should expect all sorts of trouble. Because this man will be asking advice of all sorts of matters that should be left to you, him, and God - only!