Boundaries

How close do you allow people to be to you? How completely honest are you to every question asked? When do you tell someone that the information was more than you asked (TMI)? When is it time to just walk away?

The Word tells us if we would like friends to show ourselves friendly(Proverbs 18:24 KJV). My mother would tell me as a child to smile more and people will naturally gravitate towards you. Both have been proven to be true; however do those who come are the kind of people we would like to be around or have around us?

I counseled a woman who couldn't understand that the five different men who fathered her five children had the same exact personality she would rather her children not to be like. Yet she kept meeting the same kind of man. Why?

Some men voice what they like in women and have every intention of meeting such a woman but the end result is that he settles for the polar opposite of what he spoke of. How many of us are content with the relationships we invited into our lives? And if you aren't content with them, what are you doing about it?

In the bible, scripture tells that when God asked Abraham to leave his kinfolk, he brought Lot with him. Lot did not do what Abraham did to get the blessings that God provided for him, yet Lot was blessed because of the overflow and the promise of God said about Abraham's seed. When desention was in the camp, Abraham immediately made the decision for Lot to go his way and Abraham would use the path Lot didn't choose to go. what was Abraham doing? Seeking peace. peace became more important to have then friendship. More important then family.

What will it take for each of us to make that same decision? We already chose life as it is written in Deuteronomy. Now what? The Word tells us to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness . We find that the Kingdom of God is love, joy, and peace in the Holy Spirit. So could your happiness be caught up in not seeking for those in your life?

If God has already set us apart from the world calling us a peculiar nation, why would we try to be apart of the band wagon? What boundaries have you placed and would never compromise?

Personally, I don't like to nit-pick, criticize, or nag and I don't like to hear such things; therefore, I won't choose to be associated with those who can justify and continue to do those things. People have been comfortable enough around me to let slip how they will lie, steal, and cheat to get whatever they have to getr. Should they be surprised when I am not as readily available to shop, converse over the phone, or go to the movies with them?

God tells us that blessed is the man that walks not in the counsel of the ungodly. If you recognize acts and/or speech that doesn't line up with what you believe, yes, you pray for the person; but do you continue to associate yourself with him or her? When do you say no? When is enough, enough? Are ungodly associations more important than Kingdom Living? If they are, what kind of life have you created for yourself?

Children Keep the Nest Full

I have listened to thousands of sermons and more qualified ministers then I care to count. It has only been recent when listening to a radio evangelist accuse pastors of keeping the congregations immature did I really start listening to messages more intensely then ever before. Isn't the whole purpose of a minister is to get the good news to God's people so we all can live an abundant life that Jesus died and rose again for? But how can that be obtained if the message is twisted to only benefit the one speaking it?

One of the few topics the church doesn't address is sex and everything that goes with sex. Such as, dating, sexual positions (which are acceptable and which ones aren't), cohabitating, petting is sex too, etc.The shunning from the topic is supposedly for the purpose of not encouraging the behavior. You know ignorance is bliss kind of thing. Except the trouble with that is the Word tells us that My people perish for lack of knowlege.

A church I attended made it known to a mid-week congregation what the topic would be the following week - sex. A middle of the week service barely carries the faithful few but that following Wednesday, there wasn't one empty seat.

Sunday morning I listened to a pastor that stated before beginning his sermon that as hard as he tried to find, there are no rules written in the bible about dating. Therefore, he took it upon himself to give the congregation all of the ins and outs in a simple 10 step guide to date appropriately as a Christian. Though peppered with "aw, you not gonna like me" throughout the message I had to change the channel after the second step. He was so pleased with himself to get across to every one that the first step being physical attraction went over well that with my son watching the same program I had to speak what I know about what God says. My son said nothing.

I suppose this would be the reaction of anyone who has read the scriptures for himself and then hear a spiritual leader speak of a matter opposing what is written. The Word says that in the last days there will be prophets that will tickle the ears of the listeners. What will be said are the things that people would much rather live by then to change and do what is right. Its supposedly easier to give into the desires of lust then deny your body that physical release that is not life threatening. What is the quandry when disease arise from lack of discipline? Is it still too hard to deny lust then?

Dating, sex, and any other subjects not knowing what to do can be found in the Word. That pastor over stepped the boundaries of Christianity when he made spiritual maturity number two and physical attraction number one. Our whole basis of belief is by faith, the definition of which is not by sight. He couldn't find that in the scriptures? He told men that if they like double D's not to encourage a flat chested woman. Though there were chuckles, the faces that the camera scanned were not laughing. The truth to that is when those double D's fall to her knees, there better be something else there that's supporting the strength of that marriage or it will fall too.

I have written a guide to dating for men and a separate one for women based on the Word of God. I really detest when ministers try to teach a delicate subject matter like sex with both genders in the same room. The speaker always tries to feel which one to bash with his sermon. Mostly, it is the women and the subject is usually the one of being ugly. It is suppose to be funny and it takes up 45 minutes quickly and the men just love it. They tend to come back to hear more of anything that isn't their fault. Women have gotten use to it and are just glad to see more men in the church so we weigh it and put the masks on to take it for the sake of winning those souls to Christ.

Trouble is, lies don't win souls. Men are the leaders and if they can't wear big boy pants and take it then we will continue to have babies going around the same mountain again and again. If women continue to be approached by these same men, having been made leaders, they will soon believe this is what men are made of, will marry them, only to raise up seed just like them. The families having never grown to know the real truth stay in constant fear and remain under the tutorialship of the very one who also believe the lie or he has discovered this evil and instead of ridding himself and congregation of it, he justifies its means to keep his church full.

Not Bad At All

The economy, good or bad, never really had an affect on me. When it was at its worst I was too young to care even with people onm the highways with work to eat signs. I saw them but didn't know why they couldn't find a job. My parents were working was the myopic view of my world. Other times, when old enough to understand that if the elite rich weren't shopping it changed the financial environment drastically. Still, even then I had a job and was doing fairly well. I thanked God for the provision and blessed where I was led to do so.

This go round with companies' answer to the drought in the shopping sprees, was to down size. Many people felt the push of "your services are no longer needed." Signing that "at will" termination contract never looked to be a good idea for those doing the work so the elite could shop (that sounded sour). I felt the pinch then. I didn't panic, at first. I knew the education, skills, and faith would take me to a new place of employment. God will provide, I kept saying to myself.

The weeks soon turned into months and panic was knocking. I went from searching for jobs in my field of expertise to looking for flipping burgers or cleaning office jobs. I found jobs that were available but no one answered my inquiry, resumes, applications, phone calls, or the taps at their office windows (I can see you in there!). It was like the Twilight Zone comes to reality. I answered the door to panic when I was given an aptitude test to work at Subway and froze in trying to answer what seemed to have been questions about polynomials! It took me forever to finish. I knew when handing that test in, I wasn't going to be called back.

I search online everyday - eight hours per day until I just gave up. It had been over a year without a paycheck. I always had a means to purchase whatever I needed but now with this change, I was at a loss as to what to do.

I stopped with all of the ideas that seemed to go nowhere in getting employment. I stopped looking for jobs on the internet. I stopped inquiring about positions I applied for and just got quiet. What was I doing? What did I need? Why was I in that emotional state?

God provided for me in the past when the economy had dropped before. He made a way for my parents to where I didn't feel any financial drop from what they had always done before. Why should now be any different?

I went back to studying the Word and praying like a normal Christian instead of the pleas and wailing to God as I did. When my Peace returned I was called in for a very odd sort of job. I would be the emergency contact for the Jewish elderly if they needed help calling 911 or some domestic problem in their apartments. It sounded easy enough. The strangeness was that in lieu of a paycheck, I would receive and apartment with utilities and cable paid for. I agreed.

It felt odd at first. No paycheck? But what would I need it for? God provided again as He always does. The shopping I do is minimal and when I look around, my barns are full (closet, cabinet, and refrigerator) and presses are filled with new wine (I am over joyed). I am in want for nothing. It is the M/O of the Good Shepherd.

It wasn't too long ago that I saw a verse in the bible of which I must have read over and over again but it wasn't as appropos as it was when I saw it this time.

"8 Remove far from me falsehood and lies; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me,

9 Lest I be full and deny You and say, Who is the Lord? Or lest I be poor and steal, and so profane the name of my God."

Proverbs 30:8-9 Amplified.