Monday, July 18, 2011


There are some really odd places where I have been inspired to write in this blog. For this entry, it happened to be some reruns of The Real Housewives of Orange County. I was watching an episode where Vicky and one of the other housewives were on a yacht. The other housewife was enjoying her husband while Vicky was trying to be a comedienne for the camera. In doing so, this meant that she continually degraded her husband. Her guests were obviously embarrassed and felt sorry her husband. I know I did. He did what he could to save face and continued with their trip. Every now and again, the other housewife and her husband would steal kisses in private and would always have some physical contact with each other. Vicky noticed this and started to complain. She actually complained throughout the entire trip. When she wasn't getting enough attention she decided to take the few moments the other housewife was having with her husband and come and be, what I would think is, a pest. For some reason, she thinks this is normal behavior. Her husband is left to have a conversation with the maitre'D, the ship's captain, the steward, anybody else but his wife, Vicky. I have watched this series off and on and at the end of each season Vicky makes this declaration to be different, easier to get along with, closer to her friends, and has even coerced her husband to renew their martial vows. Why does it seem coerced?  He just looks so unhappy.

Towards the middle of this particular episode on the yacht, Vicky, in her narrative portion, states that she is empty and she doesn't believe her husband could fill her love tank. She then starts to cry - twice. I don't know if she realizes that every time she does this, her husband, family, and friends sees all of this stuff and it cannot be taken back. Once those words are spoken in film, it is up to the director and producers what will be aired for the entire world to see. From what was aired, she didn't take the time to tell her husband, get some therapy, or make the decision as her fellow housewife did, to leave the show and work on the marriage and family. Her excuse was, she and her husband works hard for what they have and they love it. Fine, then you cannot complain! Is it a wonder that the next season, Vicky orchestrates a vacation for all of the other housewives and wanting for all of their husbands to stay at home. She tells her husband he is not invited. He was looking forward to going with her. He says so. Aggravated is a pale description of how Vicky acts when she sees that the other housewives bring their husbands along. And why? Because they love and reverence them! Vicky pouts.

What really interested me about the episode with Vicky and her friends was her sincerity with why she wasn't getting out of the marriage of what she assumes should come from nothing. What do we have for free? The only thing I know of is God's mercy and grace (Acts 15:11 AMP). With everything else there has to be some effort. Even with salvation we must speak the words to get it and believe in our hearts (Romans 10:10 KJV). I was amazed how this grown woman expected her husband to keep giving and giving in spite of how she was treating him. This use to be the behavior of men back in the day when they had it all and thought if they didn't get it from their wives, they will go and get it from someone else. It is no different. Back then the men didn't get what they asked for because they cannot get something from nothing. There has to be a deposit put in from someone in order to get something back.

The Word tells us this all of the time. A seed has to be sown in order for there to be a harvest. If love was never taught, it cannot be expected (1 Corinthians 13:3-10 AMP). If there were no kind words spoken, how can there be annoyance if kind words are not retrieved? There are times when a marriage hits a wall and it seems the only answer is to leave and start all over again. This would be a mistake. You are the same person leaving the marriage as you are starting a new one. To think the failure or the boredom or the monotony or the extreme aggression has gone just because you are in a new relationship is foolishness. There were two people in that marriage that had become one. It is written. That reason the two became one is that there was an agreement to get married. There had to be some point where in the relationship there was something common that made the two join. That common place is the glue. Agreement was continual when there was support for the other in discussions, with other people, and in creating a family. Arguments that can arise doesn't remove that common place. Therefore the common thing the two of you shared, you are now taking to a new relationship. Did that common thing have baggage attached to it? Did the common place have childhood issues lingering, hurt feelings, fear of rejection, regret, other phobias, manias, obsessions, jealousies grabbing on for dear life? Many still think its life and we all have to deal with it the best we know how. That would be error. In choosing life, we allow God to do what He does and we do not give place to the enemy. The enemy has no life and wishes to snuff out yours.

This is where that feeling of emptiness comes from. The Word tells us not to give place to the devil and yet, when the consideration of turmoil comes about, we call it life and its issues. Life has no issues. It is problem free! Problems arise when the acknowledgement of our Creator has not taken place (Philippians 2:13 AMP). Vicky's viewpoint could be the influence of the producers telling her that she is the "spice" that keeps the show alive when all they are concerned with is keeping the ratings up. The housewives have seen the problems in their lives and while  they could remain on the show and receive a paycheck, it is clear where their priorities are. Vicky is the only original housewife left. From a drug addicted child in and out of jail to the down sizing of the family's residence because of the economy, the other women could not allow their families to be torn apart just to keep the fans happy. Vicky remains on the show. Her husband is rarely shown, yet she is not a housewife without him (Proverbs 14:1 AMP).

The devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10 AMP). Emptiness is his playground. It is the evidence that he has been there. To speak emptiness is the graffiti that the devil has left on that wall. God says, they that thirst after righteousness shall be filled (Matthew 5:6 KJV). What say you? Made any deposits lately? What have you sown (Galatians 6:7 KJV)? Surprised at your harvest?

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