Monday, October 15, 2012

Marriage: The Mirror Image

The common quote that is said amongst the Christian circles is, those that are single wish to be married and those that are married wish to be single again. Instead of tongue and cheeking it, why not look into the reason why anyone would say such a thing. First, was the person saying it as being married or single? Did he/she believe that to be true? If so, what is the plan for the rest of his/her life?

It has to be the eternity thing that has people saying the strangest things having nothing to do with Christianity. The Word tells us to be content in whatever state you are in (Philippians 4:11 KJV). Is speaking about the opposite of your marital status being content? It doesn't sound like it to the listener.

I was talking to a man who looked to be in his late 30's to early 40's. He is a married man and says that he is a Christian yet how he thinks is baffling. He told me that the internet has saved many marriages though, at the time, he didn't wish to be specific. I knew what he meant but really needed him to say it. eventually, he did so with guilt and shame. His salvation of marriage claim is porn. His reasoning comes from believing the 3 things most important to women and the 3 things most important to men. According to him, for women the 3 things are: security, family, and maybe sex. For men, according to him: sex, money, and if needing a third thing it would be children. I continued to listen to him as he made sweeping generalizations of what he believes women are thinking as opposed to men. I asked him if he and his wife had different perspectives why did he marry her? He used the analogy of starvation and sex to answer my question. This, I have heard before and is still no less comical to think of, especially from those calling themselves Christian. Nevertheless, when deciding to act on passions created without discipline, clarity is what is being sacrificed. The fog lifts when marital habits are put in place. Differences that should have been seen while dating are clearly defined in a marriage (1 Corinthians 7:28-36 AMP). Matters easily resolved by continuing the dating process are now much more difficult with vows professed in the presence of God, family, and friends. Because of these opposing matters, his resolve is pornography. With the admission of weakness, pornography only exacerbates any underlying unresolved issues. In other words, giving the enemy a place to do what he does (Ephesians 4:27 KJV). The enemy has only one job and is only terminated from it when the true believer gains new information from the Word (John 10:10 KJV).

In another entry on a different blog to Christian singles, I wrote about a co-worker coming into the realization of man being at fault for the state of the world. Men don't like to hear this, yet they know it is true. It wasn't unusual to hear men trying to defend their position and place blame on women or whomever else comes to mind; however, when I drive the conversation back to the Word, they almost look disappointed no matter the maturity level of faith what cannot be skirted is men was created first. He is the head of the house hold and the head of the woman. If he doesn't like what is going on - he can change it (Genesis 1:26 KJV). If he doesn't do anything about it, he can only blame himself (Mark 11:23 KJV).

With these things in mind, I asked this man who claims the salvation to marriage is porn, "why not tell your wife what you do?" His expression at that question was as if I asked it in Swahili. "I would never tell her that", he said. I didn't continue to ask him anything else about the matter. Whether he knew it or not, he just made drastic changes in his marriage. Its not only the pornography but the secrecy about it that will bring him a harvest he will definitely not like. God is not mocked; whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap (Galatians 6:7 KJV). Seeing that he has sown this seed, what is his wife doing?

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