Monday, September 17, 2012

What Is A Wife?

A question seemingly to be obvious but the truth of the matter is, most women enter the institution of marriage with a blind fold on hoping to feel for the target as she goes along (Psalm 119:105 KJV). In the past few decades, however, women might think that which is apparent, we have been missing it. Well, that's what divorce is. It is apparent to one what to do and the other is not in agreement. The lack of agreement over a given period of time is failure to maintain the one-ness that marriage is; which is the definition of divorce. It takes two to be married - so, it can't be the fault of one without the other. Right?

Coming to this conclusion, too many women have agreed to do some things different after processing other failed relationships in their minds. However, they don't realize that it sells themselves short of the treasure that women really are. Some women have agreed in many circumstances just to live together without some superficial paper stating what the two (the man and woman) have claimed to be in their own minds - married. This way, if it doesn't work out, each can go their separate ways without all of the red tape, lawyers and money involved (Galatians 6:7 AMP). Both have learned a lesson and the next time won't make those same mistakes. It works out perfectly and no one gets hurt. Right?

Here's the funny thing though, if it is just a superficial piece of paper why does it mean so much when the process begins? When celebrities that have lived together for years in harmony (supposedly) and then get married, why does that superficial piece of paper the reason for the demise of their union? Why is it that the difference between making those vows (promises) to do what the minister, clergy, or officiant, tells the two to repeat causes some to stutter, cry, or even pause at what is being said. If its so superficial, why get cold feet after all of the money has been spent, invitations have been sent, and the tailoring of all of the clothes have been done? Its the same person that you have been dating in front of the same people invited to come and celebrate with you just to get a simple supposedly superficial piece of paper (1 Corinthians 7:1-5 AMP). Right?

Yet, in all of that process of trying to figure what is and isn't superficial or what is good in the sight of God, no one has taken the time to find out what would be good for the two individuals getting hitched for the rest of their lives. No one has taken the time to see if that can be done and will it affect the Kingdom Life that was sought after all while the two were single. In some ministries, there is marital counseling and thank God for the insight there; nevertheless, before the two become one, there should be counseling individually for each to understand what is expected of the other.

We hope that the two are mature enough to figure this out for themselves, yet the truth of the matter can be read in black and white as the divorce rate is anything but zero. The answer is not for the two to live together in secret and hope that it will all work out, God is not mocked. The answer is not for the two to live with the parents of the other so the parents can figure it out for the son; and then, if that doesn't work, the parents can send her on her way but the son is saved and she will have to pick up the pieces with her own family. Gee, how loving!

When the two receive counseling individually, then let the next session be together as they come to realize some things. Did she wish to work outside of the home? Did she wish to have children? How many, if she does? Did she realize that she is supposed to be the help to her husband? What does this help mean to her?Did she know that he will be the head of her (Ephesians 5:23 KJV)? Did she know that she is to reverence him (1 Peter 3:2 AMP)? Does she know what reverence means? Does she know that he is to love her as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25 KJV)? Does she know what that means? Does she know that she is to be submissive to her husband (Ephesians 5:22 AMP)? Does she know that the verse above that one is that they are suppose to submit to each other (Ephesians 5:21 AMP)? Does she know that arguing isn't healthy in a marriage or any relationship (James 1:20 AMP)? These are the things that are baffling to many people, even those not seeking to be married. These are things that are necessary to be known to have Kingdom Living (Romans 14:17 KJV). Without Kingdom Living in place, marriage will not be the catalyst that will give it to the individual or the couple.

To answer the question, what is a wife, one would have to find out what Jesus expected from the church then make it applicable to the individual. This can be different to each of us because we are assigned different tasks in the body of Christ. Be as it may, she has to know what it is that God has spoken in her heart to do. This way when the right man comes and asks for her hand, he is going to treat her as it is written. She will recognize the greater one on the inside of him because He is the same on the inside of her. They are equal and joy, peace and righteousness can continue and are all the more stronger for it. Selah.

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