Friday, January 1, 2010


After an intense conversation with a woman my son was dating exclusively, he text to ask me ,what is the point of friends? Initially, I chuckled to myself thinking how even those that are supposedly close to you can take you to a place that God would not consider righteous. Its where questions of common sense are and parents with their hair pulled out wondering where did he/she go wrong? Its the place where we left profanity and feeling anxious. Its where you don't wish to be and yet parenting can tempt us to get there rather quickly.The time it takes to calm down and repent would also cause one to wonder why have that person as a friend if he/she has the ability to take you from kingdom status?

The Word tells us that iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17 AMP). This is an excellent verse in describing true friendship. While spending time with one another, you can't help but to get to know their likes and dislikes. You learn personality quirks and become more acquainted with the traits that drew you both together causing you to remain friends; however in so doing there will also be those times where subjects discussed might have a difference of opinion. If the Word is used one of the two things can happen.
1. The Word is the truth and made to set us free (John 8:32 KJV). So the debate becomes nullified. The Word corrects that which is wrong; therefore, the opposing verbage is extinguished and true friendship resumes both having an understanding of the verse.

2. This is the iron sharpening iron part. The Word being analyzed and a sword, as believers, we all have one. Except when we have allowed the enemy to enter into one aspect of our lives (Ephesians 4:27 KJV). He will try to devour other things. If we don't quickly recognize where entrance took place and repent reminding God of His Word in our confessions/prayers, God will still cause our true friendship to hear what we don't. That would be a sign of the enemy at work and the dulling of our spiritual senses (Hebrews 5:11-12 AMP). It is the peace that extinguishes those fiery darts and Kingdom Living replaced where it belongs.

If the debate continues the Word can still be used. This is also a means of God telling you this person is not a real friend. If he/she opposes the Word even after it being made clear, then he/she will also oppose you when you need this person the most (Psalms 1:1 AMP).

Some Christians like to keep these truths hidden because they believe it is their own weaponry against the enemy. Problem with that is, how then would the rest of us Christians grow up? It is our duty to tell the babies and the children what to look for. We all must be alert in keeping the paths of righteousness plain (Proverbs 3:6 KJV), lest we stumble(Proverbs 3:19-22 AMP).

An elderly woman new to the community by which I am employed, asked if I could tell her age. She seemed to be in her 60's but was only too happy to correct me in stating the she is 82. I congratulated her for keeping herself fit. She continued to state that she has a friend of 45. The two of them get along so well. She was pleased to note that her friend takes her places and even paid to go to the salon to get her hair done. Yes, there was a second that I did think it odd for a woman my age to have so much in common with a woman of 82. As this woman continued to speak to me, I didn't think about the common trait of anyone being left alone for so long, would talk about any given subject matter if the one listening is interested or not, hence the reason for the supposed friendship. The next morning, early as it was, a medical alert went off that I had to tend to. In so doing, that same elderly woman was completely dressed and waiting in the lobby for her supposed girlfriend. After completing the medical alert task and paperwork, I was about to go back to my residence when that elderly woman tried to stop me by holding a conversation. Not only did she inform me that she was waiting for that close friend of hers but that she was going to be picked up by this close friend to babysit her children. "Have a good morning," I concluded the conversation with her and went into my apartment thinking what you are undoubtedly thinking yourselves. She is fooling herself!

How much would you withstand to continue a friendship that is only benefiting one? I separated myself from a 4 year friendship after realizing she seemed to be hanging on to receive the overflow of my blessing rather than being one herself. Isn't that what Lot did to Abraham? To a point one might overlook that because of mercy, grace, patience, and the like, but the never being able to live up to all of the criticism and not being perfect herself was a bit too much to tolerate especially if my personal Peace was being disrupted.

The Word tells us to have friends we must first be friendly (Proverbs 18:24 KJV). If friendships still aren't made then it is, again, one of two things:
1. You must be around a certain quality of people to be considered equally yoked to those God would have you call friends. As those who are young and very liberal enough to profess that we can be friends with anyone, I say be realistic. You know you wouldn't have just anybody come into your house because their mind set is not the same as yours. It is the reason your parents moved as the neighborhood changed. If you remain in an environment where people just don't care, then either you will become like them or rebel not knowing why until much later in years. Your parents desired better for you. While others who could not afford to move tried to instill in their children to behave differently even when their children saw something else everyday. To instill better values for that family would be difficult. This is why we choose friends that are better suited for the purposes we have in life and consequently can understand where we are headed. They would more than likely be supportive rather than a burden.

2. The other is that God is telling you to be content in whatever state that you are in (Philippians 4:11 AMP). If you don't have friends right now, count it all joy for you have a friend who is closer to you then any brother (Proverbs 18:24 NIV). He will never leave you alone.

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