Women's Day (Part 2)

In rightly dividing the Word, we are supposed to be listening to what is being taught and then having the

desire to study for ourselves. Take out those notes, our bible and spend time to see if the Word was quoted correctly and if it was used in the proper context. With all of those things in order, then and only then could we use the message in applying it into our lives or to use in discussions or to help someone in their time of need. Anything else without these matters in place is a person in error and causing others to be as well. You will discover this as you continue to read.

In the first part of this post, hopefully the idea that a virtuous woman can only be if she is a house wife has been dispelled. Her priority is in Christ and then doing what He has called her to do. This is the message that I didn't hear and is why I write. The other passages under the guise of "Women's Day" also kept the real message from being expounded upon. I am not sure if the reasoning is trying to only teach what the people can be comfortable in hearing or if the ministers were directed not to

preach such things. I don't have those constraints.

The book of Esther is one of those popular sermons where it has been said, to the group of women I was seated with, that if a woman wishes to keep her husband she should do as Esther has done and not Queen Vashti. It was also reiterated of the respect Esther had for her Uncle Mordeccai and for her husband once she became Queen. She also was obedient which is why she was highly favored (though her looks added to some of the benefit). While I took in these lessons, it wasn't until much later in my own studies did I wonder if the female ministers read the entire book of Esther or just the passages that seemed pertinent for the message. I also wondered if these lessons were from the Lord or something seen on television or recorded and watched to be taught again and again. If so, that was not from the Lord's table. The Lord may have prepared a meal in the presence of our enemies, but rest assured the meal had not been eaten before and regurgitated for us to swallow (Psalms 23:5 AMP).

To understand Esther in the role that was thrust upon her, you must first see the king for who he actually was. He was a foolish man. He held parties that lasted far longer then necessary and the only one enjoying his parties was him (Esther 1:1-8 AMP). He would have the food and drinks placed for everyone but no one would be drinking but him. Then when he called for his wife, Vashti, she was tired having thrown her own party for the women and wasn't about to be humiliated as she has been putting up with the king's drunken behavior before (Esther 1:9-12 AMP). She refused him. The king could have pouted for a moment and been over it. But the princes had to be bored. They were the ones that started thinking that the queen had some influence and would cause for their wives to be just as impassive (Esther 1:16-20 AMP). That was fear doing the thinking for them. Seeing the king was not of a sober mind, he listened and acted on that thought of

fear. This is what caused for the queen to lose her position.

Now Esther, she was a child. Not knowing what happened to her actual parents gives some perspective as to why Esther's demeanor was the way it was. She had been obedient and without a doubt her Uncle, a godly man, prayed for her. We also don't know if her Uncle had anymore children of his own. Assuming that he didn't, because the Word never tells us that he went back to his home or to his wife and family, he kept a close watch on his niece. Never did I ever hear how close knit this family was and why Esther may have felt that way; however when her surroundings changed so did she.

Why do you think Esther went from a humbling, obedient, quiet child that was highly favored to one that was going to give her Uncle a directive? He told her what was needed to be done to save the people and that she was placed in the position for this very reason. Instead of her seeing the big picture, she looked at how she had been trained to do as the king ordered (Esther 4:8-11 AMP). The order was, not to disturb the king unless he called for you. Did you notice how Mordeccai got her head back together (Esther 4: 12-17 AMP)? He reminded her where she came from. She saw her position being greater then the niece of her Uncle. Actually, it was...only Esther was a child and didn't see that. She had a decision to make and this may have been the last time her Uncle could give her a directive to follow. After all, she is the queen and needed to be about serving her husband not her Uncle. But, again, this isn't the message that was taught in the services I attended or those I've seen.

Now this is the part that most female speakers get trapped in and deliver the oration as a show on how to be that domestic engineer that all men desire in a woman. What is ministered is that the woman needs to be able to read her man (know his ways). She should not come at him the moment he comes home, but she should allow him to relax, draw him a bath, serve him a hot meal. Then after he has finished and is in a better state of mind, ask what you will. Then the scripture is used in seeing what Esther did with the king just for him to reconsider what he had ordered (Esther 5 AMP). Yeah right! Did we not establish that Esther is a child? Did we not already establish that she had no clue as to what to do with any man much less her husband? And if you keep reading, she didn't ask him with the first dinner, or the second. What I wondered was, what happened afterward? I mean after the order was over and Haman was executed? Did Esther continue cooking her man's meals or did she have those servants do as they have been hired to do? And isn't that manipulative? Does a man appreciate a conniving woman? Is this seed sown and now her husband can be the same way? Is this the sort of thing a woman hopes the rest of her life must consist of in order to speak to her husband? Its ridiculous, isn't it? It sounds like a hard task to keep up with especially when a woman

never had to go through such foolishness as a single person living her life righteous before the Lord. Why would God make marriage hard for us? Answer: He wouldn't.

The real lesson in Esther for the purpose of Women's Day is the childishness of the king listening to the advice of princes. He got what he deserved. The equivalence of who he is. All of those parties and allowing for those who were not chosen to be king have control of the decision making, got him a wife that was equally yoked with his personality. She was a child easily to be controlled and manipulated. We saw this when Mordeccai told Esther what to do. He was no longer in that position to do that, but she adhered to his direction. The princes told the king what to do. They were not in a position to make that decree themselves and if the king knew his place, he would have put those princes in theirs.

When a woman accepts the proposal of a man, she must know that he has the confidence, assertiveness, and aggression to hold the position as being the head of her. He has some direction of where he would like to be and is appreciative of the help that she is able to give to get him there. If its all about him and he doesn't love her as Christ loves the church, and therefore should expect all sorts of trouble. Because this man will be asking advice of all sorts of matters that should be left to you, him, and God - only!

Sabotage

The sacrifice we do for others is in hopes that the others will make better choices to be placed on a better path with less obstacles is something most Christians gladly do. We know this is pleasing unto God. We automatically make those sorts of sacrifices for our children and possibly for some of our family members. Yet, with what we know in Christ, are volunteers and philanthropic characteristics on the rise (Proverbs 21:3 AMP)? Would we still be so kind to sacrifice our time to assist in helping a stranger to understand Christianity and then follow up with where he/she attends services or the very least, pray for their spiritual growth? Do you wake up extra early to make that sacrifice in prayer for someone else (Proverbs 15:8 AMP) ? If not, are you sabotaging your own spiritual growth and success?

An attractive woman, recently divorced and raising her 4 children, establishing a home of her own and a career, she had been approached several times by men interested in dating her. Instead of having to continually reject their advances, she decided to make herself less attractive by wearing a silver wig, large framed glasses, no make up, and homely clothes. She barely looked like herself but the interest that she was receiving from so many men, stopped. She continued to obtain her education and advanced in her career. In reading this, one might think that this woman did nothing to impede her own progress. She got what she desired. Didn't she? Was it God's will? Her children grew and had independent lives while this once attractive woman who practiced being unattractive sits alone. She wishes to date now, but she isn't the same woman. God fashioned a woman to present to Adam (Genesis 2:21-23 NASB). There were specifics that God put in her for Adam and no one else. How this woman looked and behaved was a deliberate training. If her first husband could not see those attributes - oh well, he missed out. She was meant for someone else, but how will she know this now? It is so important to acknowledge God before making even the smallest of changes (Proverbs 3:6 KJV).

Would anyone make a conscious decision in destroying all of the good created? You would think not, yet doesn't it happen all of the time? Why would anyone take drugs with all of the information there is not to? Why does a grown woman have multiple sex partners when she has children fathered by several different men? Why does a thief run from the police then cries for mercy when the judge finds that he is a habitual offender? Why have children that you don't wish to raise? Why speak poorly of your child's mother/father (Proverbs 14;1 AMP)?

Sinners, well, that's their choice to be blind (Ephesians 4:17-32 KJV). For a Christian its insane to work against progress. In counseling, some women allow for me to gain some insight about their faith in God. When they do, the counseling strategy changes. A particular woman professing Jesus as her Lord and Savior has one child and her recreational activity is smoking dope while her child is in the car with her. One of my tasks for her was to find housing. When I did, management requires for this type of housing that the residents are drug free. A urine test is given on the spot. As I was filling the paper work, the test came back positive. The administrator reported that the positive reading was a hard positive; meaning, that the client had a few hits just before taking the test. No matter how many sessions and trials to gain free housing - the results were the same. How? Why? She manages to pass the drug test to gain employment; nevertheless, she consequently sabotaged her own success in the program and had to be excused.

This isn't exclusive to women. Men have their dirt to clean as well. A man is in a hurry to marry. When  he does, he expects his wife to be the woman his mother never was to his father. She cooked and cleaned for her new husband. One would think he would be pleased with her efforts. Instead, he would spill a drop of red soda on the floor daily just to see if she would clean it. Day after day. Month after month. Year after year until she couldn't take it (Proverbs 21:19 AMP). His actions served as fodder for arguments until the new couple sounded just like his parents (Proverbs 17:1 AMP). Oddly, he was content. She eventually left him. His parents divorced at the same amount of years married as well.

Yeah, you can blame the enemy and to some degree that would be true; yet, if you know better, why not do better? Why not practice what the Word says so the enemy is never allowed a strong hold (Luke 11;21-26 AMP)? Is that too much trouble to do too?

The Secret Stash

Its a little sumptin'-sumptin' just for you. Its not hurting anyone, you get some sort of pleasure by having it, and its not hindering your Christianity in anyway - right? Is God pleased with this stash of yours?

What's God have to do with it?

Interesting question, from a believer with an attitude thinking that this little stash is going to be something that God will have you give up. Maybe not. Let's see what that secret stash couldn't possibly be first.
You know it could not be:
- drugs
- alcohol
- prescription drugs (not prescribed to you)
- pornography
- extra-marital affair(s)
- old love letters
- old journals
- little black phone book (if married)
- pictures of broken relationships
- mementos given by past relationships

Some of these things are pretty obvious as to why a born again believer shouldn't have. If there is an issue giving one of the first 5 things up, seek personal counseling. The first 5 things will compromise your faith in God. The last 5 are more of a compromise with peace in your home, especially if you are married. People are peculiar. While one is secure with who they are and have no problems with his/her spouse's past, the other person is trying not to be jealous. In a couple of years the outcome of both of those people will be volatile or headed for divorce court. Why? People change.

Actually, it makes no sense to me as to why anyone would need to have this secret stash especially if he/she is calling themselves a well seasoned Christian trusting in God. In order for you to have a secret stash of anything is direct proof that you don't trust in Him.

A family member got married last year and during the wedding ceremony there were a few people in the bridal party that brought some booze. Why would anyone do this at a Christian wedding? It's disrespectful and undermining the foundation by which the couple was married. I watched as they tried to get the groom to consume the alcohol convincing him that it is a time of celebration and if he weren't going to cut loose now -then when? When, indeed. Later my sons asked what was the big deal? They went as far as asking me where does it say in the bible that it is a sin to drink alcohol. I got the distinct feeling that my innocent children were curious about what everyone else was having fun with and they have denied themselves for so long and for what reason. Understand, they have all been raised in church, I had to tread lightly in explaining why. They, unlike myself at their age, understand the Word. My son stated directly, "if you can show me in the Word, I won't ever drink." I was put on the spot. Something I didn't expect from them, but I understood where they were coming from having faced the same temptation (Proverbs 20:1 KJV, Isaiah 5:11-17 AMP, Isaiah 28:7 KJV, Luke 1:15 KJV, Ephesians 5:18 AMP).

A man with a young family had finally established his home. His wife had three children for him. Two daughters and a son. He was content with what he had and knew that it could only get better. Every Sunday, he would relax and it was the custom for him to go to the corner store with his son and purchase the Sunday news, a comic book for his son, and a magazine for his wife. Unless his daughters asked for something specific, it wasn't a big deal for them. It was only on the second week of the month would the routine change. He'd still purchase the paper, the comic book, and the magazine, but there was an added little pleasure that he would have for himself. It was the time for the new girlie mags of the month. Along with everything else, he would take his little secret pleasure mag and roll it up in the newspaper. For some reason, he thought he had hid it from his family and the only one that knew about it and didn't seem to mind was his wife. She saw it, but said nothing. After so many years, the marriage didn't work and the family was split apart with the man moving into his own place. As his only son grew to be a young man himself, he started his own collection of nude magazines. Where did he get this habit from? The children grew and moved out, getting married and having children of their own. One of the marriages from that family didn't work out. It was one of the daughters. She caught her husband cheating several times and didn't know what to do to salvage the marriage. She and her children moved back home with her mother. The daughter remembered what her brother use to collect and made sure to check the room that her sons would be sleeping in. It seemed to be cleared of any of the nude magazines. They unpacked and got settled into their new residence. As the boys moved about discovering all the different places they could play and hide, one of the sons found a picture torn from one of those magazines. She was posed provocatively with a man. The son that found the  picture was 7. He told no one of his new found secret stash.

I haven't quite got a grip in understanding why a married Christian man would need to have pornography magazines as well. It just doesn't make sense to me. He has a wife! If he loves his wife as Christ loved the church and gave his life up for her, then why would he have porn too. What does this porn make his wife feel like? Isn't she enough? If it is all for fun and no big deal, why not give it up? If it is no big deal, why didn't you tell her about your porn stash when you were dating? If it is no big deal, let your pastor know that you have it and hear if he thinks its no big deal in front of your wife. Seriously, if you have to hide it, its a big deal and what's worse - you knew it all along!

 Before Ted Bundy was executed for being a serial rapist, he confessed. He said that his ways stemmed from pornography. He made this confessions after he knew he couldn't get away with it anymore. His arrogance became bigger then himself when he decided to be his own defense - yet with as much wrong as he was facing, it was obvious where he was going to end up. He failed and just before he was about to leave this earth, scripture stood to do what it does. A verse or two came to mind at his confession - pride goes before a fall (Proverbs 16:18 KJV). How can that happen unless entertained and given place (Ephesians 4:27 KJV).

That list above is what some people use as a vice. It temporarily allows the user to escape from the journey chosen. The problem with that list, anyone of those things used on a continuum, will have that user more in lack then he ever thought he could be in - for it is written (Proverbs 24:30-34 KJV).

Attitude of Gratitude

Coming from a place where I am tired of cliches, the title of this entry (as with some cliches) is a means for us all to remember. There are times in all of our lives we could have lived without having to go through them and how many times have each of us wanted to turn back the hands of time, but with all of those issues came experience and a means by which we can teach the younger generation for them not to go through the same things but to have a better life. After all, we couldn't be where we are without those going ahead before us.

Now there are those that have the mind set of, I got mine the best way I knew how so you have to get yours. Those are the ones that don't have it so easy and are jealous of the ones that do. Stay away from them. It is a warning. They can drain the blessing right out of you. I remind you of Lot and Abraham. It was Abraham that had his faith tested. It was Abraham that finally was blessed with a son and had to believe that God was going to provide a ram. It was Abraham that had to be obedient and move away from his kinfolk (Genesis 12:1-4 KJV). Lot had nothing to do with all of that action yet he was right there to receive all of the blessing. When Abraham left King Abimelech's palace, he walked away with more then what he came with and Lot got some too (Genesis 20:14-16 KJV). How do I know? When Lot and Abraham separated, they also separated the possessions. Did the Word tell us that Lot came with anything?

I am finding that the church does teach for us to be givers and I suppose it has not been taught to the point of exhaustion because there are still those that believe that the church is trying to take from the congregants all of their financial gain. It is just not the case. Giving to be a blessing to others is a means for us to be more like God (John 3:16 KJV). So when one tells me that he/she can give on their own to be a blessing without having to keep pouring their money into the church, I would have to disagree (Malachi 3:8-11 KJV). Because the world has separated church and state, we have more of a reason to give to the church simply because we are one with Christ and not the government. The government makes sure that he will get his portion of any financial income you have. He takes it right from the top. Personally, that use to frustrate me especially if I wanted to give to the Lord first. Well, there is a way to make that happen even before the government can touch your check. Look at the gross of the check and give the percentage from that. This action is giving before the hands of anyone has touched it.

Second, if the government takes that percentage from your check and you are not fighting against it, why then do you show opposition with the tenth (tithe)? I can understand that there are some ministries that don't seem to know when to stop passing the offering plate around in one service, but it doesn't take away from your decision to give a specific amount and be done with it. No guilt. No pressure. No stress.

I think many of us lose out on our blessing because of that constant offering plate. It seems like there is an offering for everything and all at once. Take notice of how you feel every time you have to open your wallet, write another check, or make a notation of another debit from the credit card. How pleased are you? If agitated, then how pleased is God with your giving (2 Corinthians 9:7 AMP)? Is it the offering plate being passed around so many times or are you getting worried that your giving is going to cause a deficit somewhere else (Matthew 6:24-26 KJV)?

Honestly, I look at my financial giving like this: I have made a plan and made it plain. This is the amount I will give each month in my tithes and offering. This is the amount that will go into this area of the household, insurance, car, miscellaneous expenses and etcetera. This is called a budget and God will honor that. No one knows the vision God has given you. So why do you allow for people to convince you to take from that plan? The agitation that you feel by giving again and again and again is what you allowed place in your life (Ephesians 4:27 KJV). That agitation is stealing from your Kingdom Life. Let this be the recognition point: if your peace is troubled, stop and recall when you lost it. Agitation, frustration, depression, oppression, confusion, irritation, aggravation, with the outcome being grumbling, complaining, arguing, fighting, disrupting is proof of the enemy getting over on you. You have the victory so let that be.

Once you begin to realize that you are not getting in God's good graces by giving away what He has blessed you with to pay your bills, life will become so much easier for you and you will be able to appreciate more of the messages that go forth from the podium without resentment. Volunteering of your time and talent will also become easier and the church will benefit from you receiving this understanding as a son of God rather than a child being influenced by every wind of doctrine (Ephesians 4:14 KJV).

Suddenly! (part 3)

What could I do but get on my knees? This was a beating to me. What was I being chastised about - for asking? What was going on? This kind of stuff never happens to me. I had always been blessed. Granted, there are some things I would have liked, but for the most part, my life had been very happy. Then, SUDDENLY, while in church services, the pastor changes, the way he was teaching. It was as if attending Vacation Bible School for baby saints. He was catering only to them! Doesn't anyone else need spiritual food? What was going on? By this time I was wailing. The restraints were off. Anxiety and stress were tap dancing on temperance and I didn't care. If anyone told me to be patient, at that given moment, they were going to get the beat down of their lives! I don't believe my prayers were coherrent to anyone else, but God saw my heart.

I did get a job. It wasn't what I would normally do, but it is work. To do it well, I have to be still. I never knew how hard that was until I had to do it. In that time I learned that asking for a suddenly isn't bad. Asking for a suddenly at the appropriate time is better. It took 3 years for me to realize that I have grown up and my gifts are needed elsewhere. Provision flowed plentiful at one time, but when changes occur, your attention is being beckoned. I still have provision (God will always supply); however, abundance directs elsewhere. Know when its your time to move.

Touch Not My Anointed

There comes a time in our lives where we must move from the nest. We already know that time within ourselves when to move from Mom and Dad's home and into a place of our own. The parents might initially feel ambivalent about the decision because they know they trained you but also you will be embarking on matters that you really know nothing about and that makes them feel insecure with what they trained you with. So what happens to this same instinct for the child spiritually?

We have made up our minds to be devoted to the faith, we have volunteered, have done the work, and we have learned the lessons taught and applied them to our lives - now what? When is it time to put all of that in operation? When do we move from the place where we grew up? That first ministry (church) that taught us the most. When do we act upon what God says when He tells us to move? Is it scarier to move from that first ministry than it was to move from our parent's home? And when we do, whether forcibly or not, do we move quietly or kicking and screaming?

I moved from a good ministry and it took some doing to get me to do it. I had become comfortable with the routine and the work I was doing plus with the messages taught the emphasis was on, why would anyone leave? But I also remember the pastor telling new members, "this may not be a perfect church because you are here, but God lead you here for a reason so get involved." I knew that the ministry was going to train those new members and their particular gift or talent would enhance the church and others all the more.

Apparently God was going to use my gifts elsewhere and I couldn't see as to why He moved me to a Jewish Community where oddly enough, I found others just like me. Not necessarily in the community itself but in places I would have never seen if I didn't do the first thing He said to do - move. I heard people talk of other ministries as if they had been there and knew what was going on. These were influential people to me. So when it came time for me to move, to those ministries I couldn't help but to wonder why would I go there if that ministry is like that? Where I come from the choir is so anointed and the order by which the auxiliaries conduct themselves is timely and well managed. I enjoyed it so much. Why would I go elsewhere where none of this is being done? Man, I would like to enjoy where I am going! I don't feel like complaining about some out of tune choir, haughty ushers, and a nursing guild whose attitude is that they are doing me a favor. After all that I heard those people say about this ministry, why God, why can't I stay where I am?

The answer was in my question. It is where I AM. The Word says to depart from evil, do good, seek peace and pursue it (Psalms 34:14 KJV). If peace leaves for me, why would I continue to stay? Where there is no peace, would trouble fill the void if disobedience is in operation? Trouble in finances, relationships, understanding, work, business, home, etc.? How much more convincing do you need?

Ministers don't usually speak of members growing up and moving because they are gatherers. It is their nature. Taking members from other ministries I find reprehensible but some have done this too (give me scripture signifying that it is okay to do and I will retract that statement). To understand both, you would have to look at your own situation. Has He told you to move? Still kicking and screaming? What do you have to be afraid of? Don't listen to that which can do you no good. The opinions of others should not touch you. Hear the voice of the Lord. Take heed and do.