The Flesh Has Its Own Affections (Part 2)

Now for the topic at hand. To be affectionate is showing another how much you care. The flesh warps those cares into something that can move you into lack. The flesh stirs up emotion, worry, and fear (Galatians 5:16-25 KJV). Fear brings torment. Torment could be in one's own mind, on the job, or day to day activities when nothing seems to go the way you planned. Jesse Duplantis, a well known traveling evangelist stated it best, "the principality is in the personality." With a discerning ear, listen before reacting to all of what is said to you. As mentioning in Part 1, the wilderness could be a number of things and coming out of it sooner then later would depend on your reaction to it.

Personally, I had a tantrum. I hollered, cried, pounded my fists and made demands all while in prayer! It took years before  realizing where I was (wilderness) and why. In those spiritual baby years, I professed being a son of God rather then enjoying that spiritual childhood. I was using my faith but also rushing God for me to get to where I would like to be. I prayed for wants and when to get them. I was already getting what I asked for right up until I changed my confession. But the only reason I changed the confession was because of the message I heard, "babies don't get the keys to drive, sons do." So I rushed growing to get the training on "driving." Doesn't that sound like a teenager? God answered me. I had all of these plans, inventions, and witty ideas. I wrote them down in detail, making them plain, and then the waiting began. It was a suffering I couldn't describe. From always having cash to do as I please to feeling like my purchases were all on impulse rather than fulfilling any one of those plans given. It was aggravating, frustrating, and tormenting me.

The plans were huge. Much too much for me to do. So I waited until Wisdom helped me to break it down to smaller portions. When I could envision doing those things, I was ready; but the cash flow was no longer as accessible as it had been. I had to wait. Wait when thoughts were like, "well, who needed that service will have to go without because you mismanaged funds" or "if you don't hurry up and do it someone else will and make millions off of your ideas" or "you are wasting your time and after awhile you will be too old for anyone to ever want to listen to you."

What do you say to that? Should you care? Who's idea was this in the first place? Wouldn't He have provision for it? What do you have to be afraid of? Weren't you created for such a time as this? Think of it in this manner while in hiatus (wilderness acceptance), God is all knowing. He sees what you don't. When in a traffic jam, you are sitting behind dozens of cars waiting to move. Honking you horn doesn't cause the jam to dissipate but its only noise that irritates others. Having an SUV allows you to see past a few of those cars more than someone without an SUV, but if farther from the reason for the jam, you can't really see it. A Winnebago could really have a better view, but again, if the traffic jam is a long one, all of the Winnebago driver sees is more cars unless he is behind another Winnebago. If that is the case, all he can see is the back of the driver. God sees all. He knew about the traffic jam and if you would be focused on Him, He would have directed you away from it. The same would be true for any plans or vision you have.

While some may have the desire for it now, others aren't in place to make that vision truly a blessing for all. That table the Lord prepared for us, some of us need the food cut in smaller portions. For all you know the wait could be that very process for someone else. In that traffic jam, there are those that refuse to wait it out so they turn on the shoulder to get ahead of everyone else only coming face to face with construction, debris, and the state patrol. With all of those obstacles the impatient driver finds himself waiting anyway and more then likely with an expensive ticket he wouldn't have had if he just waited.

Oddly enough the wilderness can be quite pleasant. Just look around and see what can be done while you are there. Recall when Jesus took the people out to the dessert to be fed. Once he got there they sat in the grass. What dessert do you know of that has grass in it? Where ever Jesus went there was food, water - in actuality, provision. Grass had to grow even in the dessert. If we follow Him we become more like Him. We can not only have all we need but be a blessing for someone else. No one needs to know what troubles you are having. No one is interested in hearing all of that grumbling and complaining. Rest assured they more then likely have problems of their own. God knows and sees how you are handling it. FYI - Jesus spoke the Word. Take the page out of His book.

Suddenly! (part 3)

What could I do but get on my knees? This was a beating to me. What was I being chastised about - for asking? What was going on? This kind of stuff never happens to me. I had always been blessed. Granted, there are some things I would have liked, but for the most part, my life had been very happy. Then, SUDDENLY, while in church services, the pastor changes, the way he was teaching. It was as if attending Vacation Bible School for baby saints. He was catering only to them! Doesn't anyone else need spiritual food? What was going on? By this time I was wailing. The restraints were off. Anxiety and stress were tap dancing on temperance and I didn't care. If anyone told me to be patient, at that given moment, they were going to get the beat down of their lives! I don't believe my prayers were coherrent to anyone else, but God saw my heart.

I did get a job. It wasn't what I would normally do, but it is work. To do it well, I have to be still. I never knew how hard that was until I had to do it. In that time I learned that asking for a suddenly isn't bad. Asking for a suddenly at the appropriate time is better. It took 3 years for me to realize that I have grown up and my gifts are needed elsewhere. Provision flowed plentiful at one time, but when changes occur, your attention is being beckoned. I still have provision (God will always supply); however, abundance directs elsewhere. Know when its your time to move.

Not Bad At All

The economy, good or bad, never really had an affect on me. When it was at its worst I was too young to care even with people onm the highways with work to eat signs. I saw them but didn't know why they couldn't find a job. My parents were working was the myopic view of my world. Other times, when old enough to understand that if the elite rich weren't shopping it changed the financial environment drastically. Still, even then I had a job and was doing fairly well. I thanked God for the provision and blessed where I was led to do so.

This go round with companies' answer to the drought in the shopping sprees, was to down size. Many people felt the push of "your services are no longer needed." Signing that "at will" termination contract never looked to be a good idea for those doing the work so the elite could shop (that sounded sour). I felt the pinch then. I didn't panic, at first. I knew the education, skills, and faith would take me to a new place of employment. God will provide, I kept saying to myself.

The weeks soon turned into months and panic was knocking. I went from searching for jobs in my field of expertise to looking for flipping burgers or cleaning office jobs. I found jobs that were available but no one answered my inquiry, resumes, applications, phone calls, or the taps at their office windows (I can see you in there!). It was like the Twilight Zone comes to reality. I answered the door to panic when I was given an aptitude test to work at Subway and froze in trying to answer what seemed to have been questions about polynomials! It took me forever to finish. I knew when handing that test in, I wasn't going to be called back.

I search online everyday - eight hours per day until I just gave up. It had been over a year without a paycheck. I always had a means to purchase whatever I needed but now with this change, I was at a loss as to what to do.

I stopped with all of the ideas that seemed to go nowhere in getting employment. I stopped looking for jobs on the internet. I stopped inquiring about positions I applied for and just got quiet. What was I doing? What did I need? Why was I in that emotional state?

God provided for me in the past when the economy had dropped before. He made a way for my parents to where I didn't feel any financial drop from what they had always done before. Why should now be any different?

I went back to studying the Word and praying like a normal Christian instead of the pleas and wailing to God as I did. When my Peace returned I was called in for a very odd sort of job. I would be the emergency contact for the Jewish elderly if they needed help calling 911 or some domestic problem in their apartments. It sounded easy enough. The strangeness was that in lieu of a paycheck, I would receive and apartment with utilities and cable paid for. I agreed.

It felt odd at first. No paycheck? But what would I need it for? God provided again as He always does. The shopping I do is minimal and when I look around, my barns are full (closet, cabinet, and refrigerator) and presses are filled with new wine (I am over joyed). I am in want for nothing. It is the M/O of the Good Shepherd.

It wasn't too long ago that I saw a verse in the bible of which I must have read over and over again but it wasn't as appropos as it was when I saw it this time.

"8 Remove far from me falsehood and lies; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me,

9 Lest I be full and deny You and say, Who is the Lord? Or lest I be poor and steal, and so profane the name of my God."

Proverbs 30:8-9 Amplified.