The Secret Stash

Its a little sumptin'-sumptin' just for you. Its not hurting anyone, you get some sort of pleasure by having it, and its not hindering your Christianity in anyway - right? Is God pleased with this stash of yours?

What's God have to do with it?

Interesting question, from a believer with an attitude thinking that this little stash is going to be something that God will have you give up. Maybe not. Let's see what that secret stash couldn't possibly be first.
You know it could not be:
- drugs
- alcohol
- prescription drugs (not prescribed to you)
- pornography
- extra-marital affair(s)
- old love letters
- old journals
- little black phone book (if married)
- pictures of broken relationships
- mementos given by past relationships

Some of these things are pretty obvious as to why a born again believer shouldn't have. If there is an issue giving one of the first 5 things up, seek personal counseling. The first 5 things will compromise your faith in God. The last 5 are more of a compromise with peace in your home, especially if you are married. People are peculiar. While one is secure with who they are and have no problems with his/her spouse's past, the other person is trying not to be jealous. In a couple of years the outcome of both of those people will be volatile or headed for divorce court. Why? People change.

Actually, it makes no sense to me as to why anyone would need to have this secret stash especially if he/she is calling themselves a well seasoned Christian trusting in God. In order for you to have a secret stash of anything is direct proof that you don't trust in Him.

A family member got married last year and during the wedding ceremony there were a few people in the bridal party that brought some booze. Why would anyone do this at a Christian wedding? It's disrespectful and undermining the foundation by which the couple was married. I watched as they tried to get the groom to consume the alcohol convincing him that it is a time of celebration and if he weren't going to cut loose now -then when? When, indeed. Later my sons asked what was the big deal? They went as far as asking me where does it say in the bible that it is a sin to drink alcohol. I got the distinct feeling that my innocent children were curious about what everyone else was having fun with and they have denied themselves for so long and for what reason. Understand, they have all been raised in church, I had to tread lightly in explaining why. They, unlike myself at their age, understand the Word. My son stated directly, "if you can show me in the Word, I won't ever drink." I was put on the spot. Something I didn't expect from them, but I understood where they were coming from having faced the same temptation (Proverbs 20:1 KJV, Isaiah 5:11-17 AMP, Isaiah 28:7 KJV, Luke 1:15 KJV, Ephesians 5:18 AMP).

A man with a young family had finally established his home. His wife had three children for him. Two daughters and a son. He was content with what he had and knew that it could only get better. Every Sunday, he would relax and it was the custom for him to go to the corner store with his son and purchase the Sunday news, a comic book for his son, and a magazine for his wife. Unless his daughters asked for something specific, it wasn't a big deal for them. It was only on the second week of the month would the routine change. He'd still purchase the paper, the comic book, and the magazine, but there was an added little pleasure that he would have for himself. It was the time for the new girlie mags of the month. Along with everything else, he would take his little secret pleasure mag and roll it up in the newspaper. For some reason, he thought he had hid it from his family and the only one that knew about it and didn't seem to mind was his wife. She saw it, but said nothing. After so many years, the marriage didn't work and the family was split apart with the man moving into his own place. As his only son grew to be a young man himself, he started his own collection of nude magazines. Where did he get this habit from? The children grew and moved out, getting married and having children of their own. One of the marriages from that family didn't work out. It was one of the daughters. She caught her husband cheating several times and didn't know what to do to salvage the marriage. She and her children moved back home with her mother. The daughter remembered what her brother use to collect and made sure to check the room that her sons would be sleeping in. It seemed to be cleared of any of the nude magazines. They unpacked and got settled into their new residence. As the boys moved about discovering all the different places they could play and hide, one of the sons found a picture torn from one of those magazines. She was posed provocatively with a man. The son that found the  picture was 7. He told no one of his new found secret stash.

I haven't quite got a grip in understanding why a married Christian man would need to have pornography magazines as well. It just doesn't make sense to me. He has a wife! If he loves his wife as Christ loved the church and gave his life up for her, then why would he have porn too. What does this porn make his wife feel like? Isn't she enough? If it is all for fun and no big deal, why not give it up? If it is no big deal, why didn't you tell her about your porn stash when you were dating? If it is no big deal, let your pastor know that you have it and hear if he thinks its no big deal in front of your wife. Seriously, if you have to hide it, its a big deal and what's worse - you knew it all along!

 Before Ted Bundy was executed for being a serial rapist, he confessed. He said that his ways stemmed from pornography. He made this confessions after he knew he couldn't get away with it anymore. His arrogance became bigger then himself when he decided to be his own defense - yet with as much wrong as he was facing, it was obvious where he was going to end up. He failed and just before he was about to leave this earth, scripture stood to do what it does. A verse or two came to mind at his confession - pride goes before a fall (Proverbs 16:18 KJV). How can that happen unless entertained and given place (Ephesians 4:27 KJV).

That list above is what some people use as a vice. It temporarily allows the user to escape from the journey chosen. The problem with that list, anyone of those things used on a continuum, will have that user more in lack then he ever thought he could be in - for it is written (Proverbs 24:30-34 KJV).

Its Alright, he Comes Home to me

It has been brought to my attention by way of just talking to people, how certain habits have been brushed over or over looked for the sake of the relationship. It is much like realizing that the most powerful man in the country has an extramarital affair for years but we are told to just focus on the issues and his policy making skills. If I weren't one to practice keeping my tongue from profanity; that, at one time, would have taken me to the point of temptation.

First, the problem we seem to over look. Checking out porn from time to time and/or masturbating isn't something we should think as being normal. The answer being, "well he comes home to me so its alright," is not acceptable. It is not acceptable to God and should not be acceptable to you.

We, as Christians should be seeing porn as a means of voyeurism. It is looking at the intimacy of others and getting aroused by it. Then if the spouse isn't there, the matter of arousal must be tended to, so he does this himself. Problem is, when it comes to satisfying the spouse, there is no arousal. He believed the lie that satisfying himself is perfectly normal. He believes that everyone is doing it and not being punished so he can too. He believes that he can continue with this behavior and it does become a habit. This habit, whether he knows it or not, is feeding the flesh. The flesh then becomes determined to get fed and now he has a problem with sex. He either is not able to get an ejaculation or cannot stop ejaculating. One is called sexual addiction and the other is a called erectile dysfunction. There is medication and therapy for both. Well, at least someone is profiting from all of this.

The President or any other elected official having an extramarital affair is an issue. He made a decision not to be faithful to one woman - his wife. His policy making skills and other matters in his life will falter because of his disloyalty to the one person closer to him than God. It is a character flaw. If we wouldn't accept this flaw in our own relationships, why would we be so readily accepting of it in our government where the official would have to establish relationships with others to make peace. How can he make peace if he doesn't have it in his own house?

God tells us there should be no other gods before Him. He tells us to love Him with all of our hearts, mind, and strength. He tells us this for us to maintain an abundant life by which Jesus came to give us. Anything else begins to muck up the waters by which we were planted. Our clarity isn't there, we blame others, and we justify sin.

Sin, no matter how much we justify it, will have its way if continually fed. It will come to collect the debt that Jesus already paid for. With or without you making excuses for the behavior, the Word still remains: for the wages of sin is death.