The Fantasy of Abundant Life?

Really? I suppose its difficult for me to fathom that there are actual born again believers that say, text, or whatever means of communicating, that the life Jesus came to give is just a fantasy. So then what is that person's faith for? Is it just to have salvation from God's wrath? If one believes the salvation aspect of Christianity, why not embrace all of the benefits of the faith? What do you have to lose or don't you understand what abundant life is?

I have read articles and comments about how Christians are so against those "Prosperity Preachers", as they have been called. Yet, they don't wait to listen to what is being preached (James 1:19 KJV). What harm would it cause just to listen to see if what is being ministered is the truth or not? Not all preachers ministering prosperity are trying to take from the congregants, or speaking of money, or takes their role as a minister so lightly. Don't pile them all in one bunch. When you do, you place boundaries around God keeping Him from blessing you. Sounds impossible, continue reading.

Before man disobeyed God in eating from the tree of good and evil, man had all he needed. A place to lay his head, a vision, something to do, and everything he would need to sustain his life was already provided. All he had to do was be obedient to God. As man was doing what he was called to do, God looked at all He created and said, "it is not good for man to be alone." This one statement said to me that God has every intention for man to live a life that is full. He gave him everything! When God formed woman from the rib of Adam for him to have help, Adam immediately made her his wife. For Adam, abundance was completed.

When the earth was cursed, it was more then what most of us know about. The earth became hard. It needed to be worked to be softened in order for it to be good again to receive good seed and have good product from it. To do that would be HARD work (Genesis 3:17-19 KJV). Keeping with the analogy of seed and ground, woman was punished for being beguiled by the serpent. She was told that baring children would be in sorrow (Genesis 3:16 KJV). So when man implanted seed into her to have children, once it was time for the harvest of that seed, she would go through pain. It would be HARD for her to deliver children. Mankind also became hard as generations were born into the world. Just as the earth had to be toiled, so did the heart of man in order for him to receive the instruction from God (Genesis 8:21 KJV). We see the description of the heart of man in the Old Testament (O.T.) over and over again (Proverbs 16:9, Proverbs 19:21, Ecclesiastes 8:5 KJV).

God instructed for man to make a decision for him to have some of the remnants left of having a good life. He tells man to choose. He tells man what has been placed before him and in order for man to have those best parts, he needs to choose life. This one decision is what answers all decisions in life. Some men still think life offers so many choices, but all things as permissible as they are, are not beneficial (1 Corinthians 10:23 AMP). So when we choose from all of those things, it must be with the same instruction. Which of those things will add LIFE to what you already have? To answer this question would require for you to do the very thing you have heard for years: acknowledge Him in ALL your ways and He will direct your path (Proverbs 3:6 AMP).

Why would a god that loves you unconditionally, give you a means to have a better life, provide all that you need to sustain that life, then wish you hardship and anguish? He wouldn't....to believe otherwise would mean you are in error and have answered why nothing has been going your way (Hebrews 12:8-10 AMP). God defines good. You cannot have anything good without Him. There is no such thing as a good family, good relationships, a good business, a good job, a good spouse, good health, a good income, a good life without God. You have nothing if you do not have God. You are unequivocally fooling yourself otherwise.

I suppose those that have been fooling themselves have also decided to justify why their life is the way it is by stating that we must take the good with the bad. This makes no sense when God has told us to choose. LIFE is good. Death is bad (Proverbs 12:28 KJV). Where is it in the Word that we must take the good with the bad? I recall Job said such a thing when he was under fire from doing what was not pleasing in the sight of God (Job 2:10 AMP). When he did these things, God had a conversation with the devil. Why? Because what Job did came from fear. God did not give him this spirit, nor did God give him the idea to make atonement for his children's sins which were never confessed to him. Because of these acts, that which he feared came upon him (Job 3:25 KJV). Actually that and then some. Why so much more then he feared? Because the devil does the job God gave him to do: steal, kill, and destroy. God tells us all not to give place to the devil. This is a good directive.

The need for a Messiah came after Adam caused for the land to be cursed. You will notice, the life of man was being depleted from living for over 900 years to 120. For this reason, God gave again. One of the most popular verses of the bible is John 3:16. For God so loved the world, that He GAVE His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life (KJV). If you don't already know, to perish is bad. Therefore, believing (synonymous with faith) that Jesus is the Son of God will give you not only the life discussed from the O.T. but everlasting life. Here's a question, would God have you living an everlasting life in turmoil and pain? Remember, He is good. Turmoil and pain is bad.

I know as you are reading this, it might sound elemental or pedantic, but that is not why I am writing it in the manner. Understand, there are all different levels of maturity reading this entry. The things I have read from believers saying abundant life isn't real are from those who have no understanding of who God is and why He does what He does. He defines good and love. He gave because He is good and He is love. He wishes above ALL things that you be and health and prosper even as your soul prospers (3 John 1:2 KJV). To believe or write that abundant life is a fantasy must be from one who has no knowledge. It is written, My people perish for lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6 KJV). Again, to perish is bad. God is good. What don't you understand?  

Nutty Fluffer

Sunday, I listened to a message on television from a very well known pastor. As I listened to his always inspiring sermon, I noticed the verse he used to solidify the message was misquoted. Though it substantiated what he was saying, it wasn't at all the truth that the verse was supposed to be holding for those that read it. I wondered what would this do to those who believed what they heard and about to use in their everyday lives. Would they fare well and if the minister cared if anything happens to them based on what was preached and they spiritually consumed.

Look at it from a different perspective. A waiter takes the order of those who desires a meal. He/she then takes the order to the cook and waits for the preparation of the food. Once the food is ready, there are those that garnish the plate and then the waiter is told that the order is ready for him/her to take the food to the waiting patrons. If along the way that the server sneezes, cough, drops a plate and scoops the food back on it, or so forth, he/she has the responsibility to take the food back and tell the cook, it is no longer fit to serve or not. The responsibility is on the server and anyone that saw what the server did or not do. If the contaminated food is served anyway, the consumer will undoubtedly become ill.

Add this onto the perspective given: I noticed on a commercial some years ago about yogurt. There was a new style that was being offered with just as much flavor but half the calories. It was called to have a decadent smooth taste. Though it was marketing for the consumer to purchase the product, it is the responsibility of the consumer to find out what made this product better then the one they already had. The company took half of the container of yogurt, used a high powered mixer and whipped air into it. So you are getting half the product you use to get for the same amount of money (if not more). Yes, it is half the calories because you are getting half of the original product. Isn't that evil or just business?

The 23rd Psalm, a very popular passage that some of us had to learn and recite for our Easter Pageant, tells us that the table has been prepared by the Lord. This tells me the food that He has for us, has already been set. When Jesus told Peter to feed My sheep, he was being instructed to serve. Serve what? Serve from what He has already prepared in the 23rd Psalm (Verse 5). Remember this.

Now putting this all together, I have to take offense when a minister, pastor, apostle, evangelist, or teacher takes it upon themselves to make changes when speaking a message under the guise that it came from the Lord (  Hebrews 5:1-12 AMP). The position taken as mentioned previously, is a privilege to serve God's children. That doesn't mean anything that comes to mind. It is a message to be served as it is given. For we all are created at time such as this to be a set aside as a peculiar nation for God's treasure...His harvest. When a message is given from the Lord, isn't it the duty of the minister to study all of the aspects of that message, so when it is delivered (served) not only will the babies enjoy the milk of a nourishing meal, but the children and sons (mature Christians) are also fed from the Word as well (Hebrews 5:12-14 AMP)?

When ministers preach to others messages that they heard from television, a CD, a DVD or from another minister rather then directly from the relationship that he/she has with the Lord, isn't it diluted by the time it is delivered to the people...or lukewarm.... or contaminated with all sorts of fillers? And then the congregation hears it and starts speaking it as well because they trust that this minister has done the right thing...it then becomes a way of life for them. Would it not have been better if that minister studied, prayed on it, and then meditated to live that message as a minister before actually teaching it to God's people (Revelation 3:15-22 AMP)? Bishop T.D. Jakes asked a question in one of his many messages that would seem apropos here: How can you take me to a place where you have never been? I thought about that question and had a few of my own. If you as a minister never ate from that table or lived with that Word you preached to the congregation in your own life, how then can you tell me to do this, that, or the other thing? How can you chastise me for not doing something that you don't do? How can you tell me fornication is wrong, and then be involved in a scandal? How are you

teaching to draw nigh to God but the words you teach are drenched in contempt rather than love? How can you counsel a staff to do what is written and then be found in extortion? Its bothersome to say the least.

A pastor from a very large following was involved in a scandal that lasted for a couple of years. The congregation tried to stay loyal to the pastor but it was too much for them to accept and eventually, they began to leave. One of the nearby ministries in the area noticed that his congregation was getting larger then it has in years and believed that many of the congregants were coming from the church whose pastor was fighting the public scrutiny. The leader of the neighboring ministry told the new congregants to go back to the church where they came from. He said that they had no business leaving their pastor while he was going through this bit of trouble. I understood where the ministry leader was coming from, but what does the Word say about it? Was he being loyal to God or the troubled pastor? It was bothersome as well.

This post is entitled the Nutty Fluffer because the description "nutty" gives reference to the sanity of anyone taking the office to minister God's Word and then deciding to use his/her own words instead. It is written that not one tittle shall be added or subtracted from the Word of God (Deuteronomy 12:32 NIV, Proverbs 30:5-6 NIV, Revelation 22:18-19 AMP). When doing so anyway, in spite of what has been directed from God not to do, is insane. A lesson I heard in a sermon was: to do the same thing and to expect different results is the definition of insanity. I beg to differ when the Word tells us that it is the diligent that will reap the reward (Hebrews 11:6 AMP). Therefore, doing wrong and expecting to be rewarded for it is insane.

A fluffer would be the title of the one that uses the high powered mixer on the yogurt described above. This person takes a food product and whips air into it to make the product look as if it is more then what it actually is. In ministering the Word, which one of you does that? The product has already been prepared. Who is it that dilutes the Word or exaggerates what has already been written (Matthew 5:17-19 AMP)? Jesus is the Prince of Peace. The Father of all lies is the devil. He is also known as the prince of the air (Ephesians 2:2 AMP). Again, who is it that fluffs up what the Lord has already prepared? Do you really think you can do better then the Teacher (Luke 6:39-40 AMP)?

Sometimes The Good You Do Don't Do You Any Good?

I actually heard someone say this. I thought about it for a moment because a moment is all I needed to realize that as quick as it rolls off the tongue, a person not being knowledgeable in Christ, could think that statement is profound. Sometimes the good you do, don't do you any good. Really? Does that type of thinking go along with the saying, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions"? When I heard the person say the title of this entry, I had that moment. But when it came to writing material based on it, I couldn't even come up with a testimony. Hey, I don't get writer's block!

Going back to the mission statement for Kingdom Living (written at the top of this blog), the material for me to write started to flow again. In defining good, you already know, that's God. Jesus said it to His disciples (Luke 18:19 AMP). Now when accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we also agree to be followers of Him. It is the definition of Christian. We desire to be more like Him. So when we do things that are pleasing in His sight, it is without malice, grumbling, or with an ulterior motive. We do so because we are blessed and continue to be while others either don't know who they are in Christ or haven't yet chose the abundant life. Twisted statements, like those mentioned above, makes sense to them. To them, it is profound, sound, and words to live by. The road to hell statement, has been said often throughout my childhood.

When we do good for others, we do so for others to be well off. We do so, because we have been provided for. We do so also out of obedience in Christ. He did it, so we do it too. How can this not be good for you? How can this lead you to hell (3 John 1:11 AMP)?

When you are doing something for someone else because you owe it to him/her, do you feel frustration because you don't wish to pay back the debt, or you might have issues with the person that hasn't been sorted out, or you could be thinking that this good thing you are doing is going to advance this person even higher then he already is (1 John 5:1-3 AMP)? Thoughts like that could worry a person into an early grave. Why? Because it is what the enemy does. It might have started out as a test to see if your heart is as good as you would like it to be. The test shows you what God sees and what you need to rid yourself of. If you don't use better words to push out those negative thoughts, then you are what I like to call, "feeding the beast." The more you grumble, complain, or look at what someone else has and compare it to what you don't, the beast gnaws away at the blessings you do have until the only thing you have left is your health. The ease Jesus came to give, you have opposed it - hence comes disease. So if this defines, that road paved to hell - well, I guess it would make sense. But it would also show that your intentions weren't good, which then becomes biblical and the truth (Proverbs 21:27 AMP).

I was going to write an entry on why a Christian would be bored. I had a hard time getting material on that too. Then I saw a banner on facebook. It said: only boring people get bored. Which in a sense is scriptural. Christianity is a faith walk. We walk in the spirit so not to fulfill the lust of the flesh (Galatians 5:16 AMP). The Word also says that faith without works is dead (James 2:20 AMP). Its as if you can have as much faith that God will do this or that for you, but without any effort from you (the ability God has put in you), would He be a good Father to do it all? A man can guide his children to assist them to walk, but if he walks for them, they will never try to walk themselves. If man assists a baby bird to come out of his shell because the baby bird seems to be struggling so hard to get it off, he kills the baby bird. He might have had good intentions in the assistance, but the bird needs the struggle to get his lungs activated. Because of human assistance, the baby bird never gets that necessary struggle to breath appropriately and eventually dies. God is good.

Some seeds might be a good snack and that's all they will ever be. Other seeds can do more if planted in good soil though it has a process to go through even in the dirt to get to where it needs to be and produce fruit. There is an outer covering that has to sloughed off otherwise, it won't grow. Water and the minerals in the dirt gnaw away at the outer covering to get to the inside. When the minerals do,  along with heat from the sun, the seed then germinates and grows. This is also what happens to a believer. The serpent, when cursed after the fall of man, was told by God that he would eat the dust of the earth for the rest of its days. The dust of the earth was also used to create flesh (man). The struggles man goes through is first because of the curse. Then we find the Lord who came not to condemn man but to give him life. Without Jesus, man would continually be cursed, having good

intentions based on his own definition and still going to hell. God allows man to go through what he does so he can not only live the life he has chosen but an abundant life having produced much fruit (1 John 5;10-12 AMP).

Understanding this basic concept can move a hum-drum life into the stratosphere. But it is up to you. Can you still do good and be content or have you turned to the dust once again (2 Peter 2:20-22 AMP)?

Sabotage

The sacrifice we do for others is in hopes that the others will make better choices to be placed on a better path with less obstacles is something most Christians gladly do. We know this is pleasing unto God. We automatically make those sorts of sacrifices for our children and possibly for some of our family members. Yet, with what we know in Christ, are volunteers and philanthropic characteristics on the rise (Proverbs 21:3 AMP)? Would we still be so kind to sacrifice our time to assist in helping a stranger to understand Christianity and then follow up with where he/she attends services or the very least, pray for their spiritual growth? Do you wake up extra early to make that sacrifice in prayer for someone else (Proverbs 15:8 AMP) ? If not, are you sabotaging your own spiritual growth and success?

An attractive woman, recently divorced and raising her 4 children, establishing a home of her own and a career, she had been approached several times by men interested in dating her. Instead of having to continually reject their advances, she decided to make herself less attractive by wearing a silver wig, large framed glasses, no make up, and homely clothes. She barely looked like herself but the interest that she was receiving from so many men, stopped. She continued to obtain her education and advanced in her career. In reading this, one might think that this woman did nothing to impede her own progress. She got what she desired. Didn't she? Was it God's will? Her children grew and had independent lives while this once attractive woman who practiced being unattractive sits alone. She wishes to date now, but she isn't the same woman. God fashioned a woman to present to Adam (Genesis 2:21-23 NASB). There were specifics that God put in her for Adam and no one else. How this woman looked and behaved was a deliberate training. If her first husband could not see those attributes - oh well, he missed out. She was meant for someone else, but how will she know this now? It is so important to acknowledge God before making even the smallest of changes (Proverbs 3:6 KJV).

Would anyone make a conscious decision in destroying all of the good created? You would think not, yet doesn't it happen all of the time? Why would anyone take drugs with all of the information there is not to? Why does a grown woman have multiple sex partners when she has children fathered by several different men? Why does a thief run from the police then cries for mercy when the judge finds that he is a habitual offender? Why have children that you don't wish to raise? Why speak poorly of your child's mother/father (Proverbs 14;1 AMP)?

Sinners, well, that's their choice to be blind (Ephesians 4:17-32 KJV). For a Christian its insane to work against progress. In counseling, some women allow for me to gain some insight about their faith in God. When they do, the counseling strategy changes. A particular woman professing Jesus as her Lord and Savior has one child and her recreational activity is smoking dope while her child is in the car with her. One of my tasks for her was to find housing. When I did, management requires for this type of housing that the residents are drug free. A urine test is given on the spot. As I was filling the paper work, the test came back positive. The administrator reported that the positive reading was a hard positive; meaning, that the client had a few hits just before taking the test. No matter how many sessions and trials to gain free housing - the results were the same. How? Why? She manages to pass the drug test to gain employment; nevertheless, she consequently sabotaged her own success in the program and had to be excused.

This isn't exclusive to women. Men have their dirt to clean as well. A man is in a hurry to marry. When  he does, he expects his wife to be the woman his mother never was to his father. She cooked and cleaned for her new husband. One would think he would be pleased with her efforts. Instead, he would spill a drop of red soda on the floor daily just to see if she would clean it. Day after day. Month after month. Year after year until she couldn't take it (Proverbs 21:19 AMP). His actions served as fodder for arguments until the new couple sounded just like his parents (Proverbs 17:1 AMP). Oddly, he was content. She eventually left him. His parents divorced at the same amount of years married as well.

Yeah, you can blame the enemy and to some degree that would be true; yet, if you know better, why not do better? Why not practice what the Word says so the enemy is never allowed a strong hold (Luke 11;21-26 AMP)? Is that too much trouble to do too?

Its the Pin Dots Too

If it looks good and the rest of the fruit around it looks good, there is less of a chance that any of the fruit wouldn't be good. That's practically the basis by which I told my children because of certain types of people I had to do case studies with. One rarely saw the unseemly element with those that try to do something with their lives. Their focus is different. Those that apply themselves don't have the time for distractions. They have been trained that with studying and some drive the result will always be beneficial (Joshua 1:8 KJV).

To some extent, I still hold fast to this; however, due to some life lessons and this analogy, adjustments were needed.

The analogy comes from  the old adage, "one bad apple spoils the whole barrel." Most people would be able to spot a bad apple. Going to the produce section upon sight, bruises is the tell all sign. Another way is to pick up the apple and squeeze to see if it is still firm. The sight and touch signs should be all that is needed; yet in these last days, men have devised a means to spray apples with pesticides not only to keep the bugs from ruining a crop but to maintain the color and superficial texture while displayed in the produce section. Recently, while waiting for my guests to arrive at a family dinner, I felt "peck-ish" and got an apple to snack on. Seeing the red color, I went to wash it off. Just out of habit, before taking a bite, I shine the apple first. It looked delicious. When I took a bite, it tasted nothing like it looked. The skin was taut and a beautiful bright red, but the flesh was like a dry sponge. This has happened to me before, but then I clearly saw small black pin dots on the bright red skin. This time the apple color was darkened and the dots weren't clearly as visible. The experience was disappointing, appetite destroying, and can turn a customer from purchasing apples ever again.

From the perspective of people getting rid of spots and wrinkles in their lives, it would take God (Ephesians 5:24-30 AMP). We are given the foundation of righteousness and have to conduct our lives accordingly. It takes studying to replace the old, wicked ways into new habits. Some seem harder then others not because it can't be done. Its hard because of the will to relinquish those ways (Acts 3;26 AMP).

An alcoholic can get to rock bottom, losing everything and even his health is in jeopardy; yet, unless the taste and desire is no longer as strong as the desire to live, then he will mostly certainly die (Proverbs 23;30-35 AMP). This would also be true for an addict, thief, murderer, liar, idolater, and the like. A true believer knows this because of the Word, experience, and history. A fool disregards what is most certainly obvious (Proverbs 1:7 AMP).

The Word says that God inhabits the praise of the righteous (Psalm 22:3 AMP). The Word says that He hears the prayers of the righteous. It is all do-able for us. To others we are like iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17 AMP). We assist those that try to do right and teach those that don't know what is the right thing to do. Our work is to remove the spots and wrinkles to be ready for His return. So would there ever be a time when pin-dots could not be visible on you or those you believe to be your friends? Something I use to desire in my life were long term friendships. I have seen people have 30-40 year friendships and then get married. It is truly a blessing to have. If this is a desire for you and you believe you have this sort of friend, would you leave if God tells you to? What if the bond is with finances, a good paying job, an expensive car, the perfect house, the best deal, your favorite suit/dress, $100,000.00? If you winced at any of these suggestions or can make an excuse for not doing so, you have discovered pin-dots on you. What is your recourse now (2 Peter 3:14 KJV)?

Hmm, A Substantial List - Why Sub-par Results?

There is this expectation of quality when Christians ask God for anything. There is this expectation of quality when God hears requests from His children (Isaiah 43:26 AMP). Who do you believe will have their expectation first (Matthew 6:10 AMP)?

There is an entry in the Christian singles blog (Make It Plain Lenora) with some similarities as this one. Some believers think without any effort with their own lives, they are to receive this prince or princess and live happily ever after. Actually, in the Christian singles blog, there are several entries that refute this fairy tale theory with scriptural references. Click on the subject listing for all of those entries on the topic. Still, I believe this subject matter is apropos here because even though a mate may not be the focus, a lack of effort or a compromise of expectation and the results aren't anything you would like to praise God for.

Just pause for a moment. This issue is about to get a resolved but there is going to be a fight and we'll have to wrestle with that twist that was made in the truth when this lesson was taught (Ephesians 6:12 AMP).

Ready? "Ding!"

This topic is not new to this blog either. There is a subject listing here too. Check it out and click on the topic to your right in the middle of the blog.With each entry there is another nuance added due to the reasoning of those trying to hold onto that which has passed away (2 Peter 2:18-22 KJV). I hope those entries will make this one more clear for you.

I introduced this title in the group created on face book, Making It Plain. One of the comments were, "most people make lists, It is only normal (or something to that effect)." Having been guilty of doing this as well, I pondered over the comment made. As I thought about the scripture to correspond, the resolve being that there is a different expectation for a man then there is for a woman.

First, let's make it clear, if you can write a list of all of the qualities you would like in a mate, please make sure you can mirror or are able to state that you have all of those qualities as well. As far as asking God for some material wealth...how have you taken care of what you already received (Luke 12:48 AMP)? A teenager would love for his parents to purchase him a car the moment he has passed the test to receive his license. But has that same teen made his bed consistently? Has he done well in school? Is he respectful to his parents and those in authority? If not, how then should he be rewarded with a car? The same is true for a believer of Christ asking for what he/she cannot obtain him/herself. What have you done for God lately?
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Second, ladies for you to make a list must be in order for you to recall  not to compromise with what God has promised (Numbers 23:19 AMP). Bad relationships have come and gone. At the end of each one, we say never again. Just know that once you rid yourself from the fear of being a spinster, lonely nights, and the bong of your biological clock - you will have no need of a list (1 John 4:18 AMP). Your heart will then be set back in the right place (Isaiah 26:3 KJV). Your focus returns to serving God and for Him to say, "thou good and faithful servant, well done." Once you have formed that habit - the presentation happens. You know, what God did for Adam before the fall of man (Genesis 2:20-22 KJV).

Finally, gentlemen it is you that can create a list of what you need  from your good thing. The outward

appearance, education, skills, experience, finances, home owner, and so forth and so on. These are the qualities you are expecting for God to bless you with in a wife. Are you as accommodating to God? He has a list for you as well. Can you fill it? He expects for you to have practiced the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-24 AMP). He expects for you to be living enveloped in the 2 major commandments by which Jesus said you can hang all of the law and commandments (Matthew 22:37-40 KJV). He expects to hear your prayers for someone who has done wrong to you and you are asking for this person to be forgiven and blessed (Matthew 5:44 KJV). He expects to hear your praise and thanksgiving when what you have asked for has not been immediately given to you (Philippians 4:6 AMP). He expects for you to never be without the garment of praise, without being clothed with thanksgiving, or without the whole armor. Wow, that's a pretty hefty list. What does yours look like?

Where Are The Headaches Coming From?

I don't know if it is still a popular excuse for not being affectionate to your husband, but it use to be. If it wasn't from my married friends, it was heard on television sitcoms. Oddly, the excuse wasn't that funny....on a sitcom or in real life. If there wasn't a medical issue, what is/was the problem? And if used as an excuse, what did the husband do to aid in making his wife feel better?

Are those days gone where women can bring home the bacon, fry it in the pan, and never let her

husband forget he is a man (lyrics to an old cigarette commercial)? At the time of that jingle, women weren't doing it all but fighting for equal rights to have the opportunity to. Why? Because she was tired of being supportive to her husband, taking care of the children, managing the home, while believing her husband is making an income to bring home. The real picture, she either was clue-less or wished not to know that at work, the guys had developed the boys-will-be-boys club. What your wife don't know, won't hurt her was the motto or mission statement. The "boys" do what they did in the fraternity days then come home vaguely describing to their wives what had to be done to make business deals and the networking process. Did she actually know what he was doing? Probably not, but she knew something wasn't right. One the inside, he could tell. All women have that - if you didn't know.

By the time the both of them retired to the marital bed, the stress of not knowing what her husband really did, coping with home management, and whatever he was bringing home with him that she doesn't know about (i.e., STDs, being one with another, absence of him, etc.) could very well cause a headache or what can be translated as "alone' time to sort some things out (Proverbs 14:1 AMP).

You see, what he doesn't consider is that woman who he vowed to love, honor, cherish, while forsaking all others, has a family to raise. She can do her best to wear a mask for the neighbors, family and friends, but it doesn't work with her own children. They know her and as they grow up, they are watching the dynamics of their parents. While the facade rather then the truth continues to play, the children develop their own values based on what they see (Proverbs 22:6 AMP).

God tells us to study and meditate on the Word day and night; then you will have good success (Joshua 1:8 AMP). That good success comes from understanding what was studied. It isn't all pretty. The ugly isn't preached too often because the speaker would have to be made accountable for his own actions and life. Where did Cain get the idea of killing his brother (Genesis :10-12 AMP)? Did Abraham teach Isaac to lie (Genesis 12:19; 26:9 AMP)? Where did Lot's daughters get the idea to have their first born with their father (Genesis 19:32 AMP)? Why would Amnon lust after his sister (2 Samuel 13:1-20 AMP)? Where did these feelings acted out come from? We can generalize to make ourselves feel more comfortable by saying the fall of man was the cause; however, will our lives change if we localize each act? Could we consider our ways more succinctly if we did?

If Adam asked for forgiveness before he laid with Eve, would Cain be a different man? If Abraham relied on God rather than speaking in fear to King, would Isaac have reacted differently as well? If Lot had not just accepted Abraham's overflow but actually picked up some of his habits as a part of his life, would his daughters have done so too? If David would have repented for sleeping with Bathsheba then tricking her husband, would he have lost his son?

The wife having a headache at the time where her husband feels like expressing affection could be a good thing. He could take that time to do some reflecting and gain some perspective on what HE has done that she doesn't know about...but God does.

When she has a headache....again, he could stop and think if he has been satisfying her. If she feels like she is loved and cherished, headaches could become a thing of the past. But if he is only out for his own pleasure and she has to get her's the best way she can, well....look for a life time of headaches to come. Woman was made for man but she wasn't made to be neglected or abused. You think its just behind closed doors? God sees you.

When the woman he married changes, the last thing he should do is complain to her about it. She may have gained 30, 50, 100 pounds but could that weight be to compensate for the baggage he brought home when he did those "boyish" things that she doesn't know about....but God does.

She might not wear the sexy clothes that she use to or talk soft and sweet anymore but she didn't have as much on her mind before she married you. As written in a post titled, A Messy Life, A Messy Wife, the change she has made is because of you. If you are the same man she agreed to marry when you proposed, you will get the wife that you remembered.