What Is A Husband?

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog post entitled, What Is A Wife? This would be the answer for what the women would like to know. There is balance in all things in Christ.

Most women have this image of what we would like for our husbands to be. If our biological fathers were wonderful in our childhood, the imagination doesn't have to go far. The only difference is along with that perfect personality it would be nice if only he doesn't wear his socks to bed, has washboard abs, a 6 figure income and enjoys it when his wife spends his money. I know, I know, then we have to grow up incorporate the Word and get real about the matter (Romans 12:2 AMP). Its the last part that many of us find difficult - the getting real part.

Getting real for some, especially if the wait is longer then anyone would have expected, is to settle and be flexible in not getting what we were hoping for. This isn't something I am guessing at but have seen, have done it myself, and have asked questions for the answers to be just what I wrote - settle. When making that decision to settle, it is because some other thought caused the original thinking process to change. The thought being that it is impossible to hope to gain such a person. It is the knight in shining armor, the gentleman that will not only be the ideal husband and father but will cause you to be the envy of all of the church ladies who married beneath them (Jeremiah 17:7 AMP). It is the not having to deal with flicked boogers, scratching himself in front of people, ear hair, belching, passing gas without  regard to whomever else is in the room, and so many other things men go through when they leave their 20's and 30's. I know, it isn't a pleasant thought; nevertheless, its better then being a spinster - right? Well, it is the end result in some of the thought processes with leaving the original hope that we can have all things too.

Why did you change from hoping for the best? Is it because of where you live? Is it because your environment is conducive of not creating men as described above? Is it because you don't feel you are worthy of better? Is it because you have been told it is better to marry then to be the age you are without a husband or children? Is the person you are with not someone who you are particularly attracted to? Have you already settled for Mr. Right Now? Is it too late to make the wrong right?

First, let's get some things straight about the original thought you had with the knight in shining armor or the wonderful characteristics you were hoping for. Remember when Jesus said that we should have the faith of a child (Matthew 18:2-4 AMP). It is because children only have innocent intent. Their thoughts are not bamboozled with negative words. Many times children have hopes that they keep to themselves because they would like to keep those hopes. Recall what happened to Joseph when he told his brothers what he had dreamt. His flesh and blood sought for his demise (Genesis 37:11-18 AMP)! Jesus also told the adults that it would be better for a millstone to be put around the neck of the person that offended the little ones and be thrown into the sea (Matthew 18:6 AMP). Why? Because the thoughts and faith of a child is what God has put in them. It is their vision, their hope of what they can have if they are diligent (Hebrews 11:6 AMP). Children know nothing of prejudice, hate, and malice unless taught by an adult. Keep your original hope alive and live it through all the way until the end no matter what has been told to you.

A minister assumed that I was interested in a particular man. I never said anything to him. Yet he took it upon himself to preach to me about who and what I am and if I am worthy of this man's interest. I wondered who did he think he was for telling me such things. He even got personal into what I looked like and if I could ever be worthy of this particular man's interest. I found the whole thing fascinating. Because I never spoke to this man or the minister in the first place, I never had to defend myself. I allowed God to be who He is (the Author and Finisher of my faith) and watched the show. Both individuals are no longer a part of the ministry where I was attending. That was God getting His revenge and it was so much sweeter then anything I could have ever done (Romans 12:19 AMP)!

I did learn from that experience. For the longest time I thought I had to be a certain sort in order for me to meet that sort of man. Yet Ruth was a Moabite and came to a place with her mother-in-law, Naomi, to meet Boaz (Ruth 1:22 AMP). Boaz was the wealthiest man in the area. Ruth had nothing. Esther came with her Uncle to enter a pageant to see who was it that would be chosen to be the King's new queen. Esther wasn't a queen herself until she was chosen to be (Esther 2:7 AMP). The minister preaching said that the man he assumed I was interested in was a prince among men. Then he compared who he thought I was to what he thought this man to be. He had no right. He didn't know me. He was dealing with his own insecurities and using me as his scapegoat. God showed him otherwise though.

In the dating process, there will be all sorts of men that will say whatever they can to gain your interest. He might be the knight in shining armor or a wolf in sheep's clothing. It is up to you to have your artillery at the ready (Ephesians 6:11 AMP). You have to be prayed up. In everything you do acknowledge Him. When you wake thank Him for the day and pray for what you would like to happen in the day. It might be such a small thing but faith starts off small too. Once you make this a habit, watch and see how God will change the course of your life and put you in an environment that is rich with all you need to gain all you had hoped for - originally. Pray for those that put those negative thoughts in your mind (Luke 6:28 AMP). Remember the verse about the millstone? Pray.

Finally, there is a verse that perfectly describes what a husband is. Most pastors don't preach this message (well, none that I have heard in the 30 plus years that I have been attending church services) much. I believe it is because they would have to answer to it themselves. Nevertheless, it doesn't make it not true. He must love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave His life up for her (Ephesians 5:25 AMP). This is a powerful statement. It says so much in one sentence. Is there such a man that can do what Jesus did for the church? If he didn't have the ability, God would have never put the verse in scripture. He (as well as you) can do all things through Christ which strengthens you (Philippians 4:13 AMP).

Let's make it a visual: If you meet this wonderful man and he has a good career and has established himself in the company where he is but you were given a wonderful opportunity in another part of the country, would he leave his job and go where you need to be? Or would he expect for you to leave the opportunity that you have to stay where he is? Here's another visual: If a man you are engaged to gets an inheritance of 6 figures and is thinking it would be to his best interest to have you sign a pre-nuptial agreement, do you think he had this epiphany from God or from his own mind and are you in agreement with what he suggests? The last visual: If while the two of you were dating and both of you were working at places that you both enjoyed, when you got married he decides that he would like for you to be a stay at home wife. Something neither of you discussed while dating. If it is upsetting to you, should he still expect for you to be at home? Yet these things have happened in the lives of married couples. The woman believes it is her duty to compromise every single time for her to be the help that her role is, yet, the man has not compromised anything. He is the head of her and expects what he wants. She is to be submissive to him and to do as he wishes. There is no compromise, yet the woman compromised with her original aspirations to marry such the man. Inner turmoil begins in such a union and spawns into something else that is not favorable (James 1:20 AMP).

The Word says that he who can find a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22 AMP). He would then have to make a search. Unfortunately, this has been preached to look at the outward appearance. Being under a new dispensation in Christ, we have to look deeper into that verse to see that he would have to find the wife from within. Does she have a heart to be a wife? If he finds such a woman, then he obtains favor from the Lord. He would have to rely on God for that. In so doing, he has favor. He doesn't get the favor unless he can do those things. Therefore, it would be in your best interest to note what he is asking and what he expects. If he cannot give up anything for you, then he is telling you the love for you is not there. He loves himself more then you (2 Timothy 3 AMP). There is no settling in that believing he will change eventually when you marry him.

Here's another visual: Whatever a man considers to be a part of his livelihood is what he has become comfortable with. He planned  for it. He worked for it. He is content with it. If it is compromised, he will do whatever is necessary to maintain to keep it. Enters a woman he hopes to be his wife. Which is more important? Would he give up his livelihood for this woman? He will obtain favor from the Lord with her. Does he already have favor from the Lord? How could he without a wife? Does he wish to obtain favor from the Lord? Would he give up his livelihood for that favor?

These would be interesting date questions. It is actually what the Lord asked the rich young ruler (Matthew 19:16-26 AMP). Look what happened to him. What kind of husband do you think he would have made? Selah.

Its An Eviction!

I have never been evicted from any residence, I don't suppose that it is very pleasant. I have seen pink notices on doors before and could imagine that feeling coming home from work or looking for a job only to see a notice to add to the troubles that distresses a person. I have been fired from a job (or two) before. I recall once it was a relief because I just detested it so. I even thanked God when the three staff asked me to come with them. The other time, I was surprised and hurt. It felt rejected even after I did all of that work for the company too. Yet, an eviction is very different, especially the sort that is necessary to function in the manner God created.

First, comprehend some elements before the eviction occurs. A lease was signed with the understanding of the rules and guidelines given. Rent must be paid and the property must be as put together as it was when moving in. The landlord also knows that if there are any malfunctions within or around the property, he shall be there upon contact to make sure the problem or issue is resolved. The tenant and the landlord are agreed. It is a business partnership. Any deviation from this agreement will cause conflict. If there is still no resolve, legal matters are enforced and the landlord will have the right to proceed with  an eviction.

Would these proceedings also apply spiritually? You know what I mean. Like when there is warfare going on and the prayers of the righteous are doing what it is suppose to be doing. When the good fight of faith is in operation, would there also be an eviction proceeding (1 Timothy 6:12 KJV)? If so, how would one go about with that?

Jesus didn't talk to the throngs of people plainly even though they came in enormous numbers to hear what He had to say (John 16:25-29 KJV). Many of them practiced the traditional and ritualistic ways. Jesus was initiating something so different that it caused the people to become angry. The information didn't digest (in a matter of words) because of what they allowed to be their truth. Them wanting to crucify Him was the accumulated efforts of the undigested and rejection of the spiritual food. His disciples, however, asked questions after Jesus spoke. They seemed to hunger for more of what Jesus was giving. Why did that happen? What was the difference between the 2 groups other then the size?

Jesus chose the original 12 disciples. They were all doing something in their lives and none of them were strapped for cash. Notice when chosen, none of the original 12 questioned in following Him. Though they all had their own homes, they spent so much time with Jesus, it was said that they spoke like Him (Mark 14:70 KJV). It is what we all strive to do. How would that happen now when Jesus has ascended into heaven?

Jesus had a goal to complete on this earth before ascending to heaven. He is the Savior of this world. In order for Him to complete His goal, He was found in the temple asking the elders questions and He studied the Word (Luke 2:42-52 AMP). He was praying and getting to know more and more about His Father. When the time came for Him to start His ministry, He left His mother and earthly father to go out and see to His bride - the church. This is what is required of all of us as well. The Word tells us to meditate in the Word day and night, then we shall have good success (Joshua 1:8 AMP). The Word tells us that the prayers of the righteous avails much (James 5:16 KJV). This would then be your answer if wondering where is your blessing or why this and that is happening in your life. You had to give credence to something that isn't apart of righteous living. It has made a home in you and causes you to think the way you do (Ephesians 4:27 KJV). How does it have communion with righteousness (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV)? That is what you call yourself - the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus, right?

Recall when Jesus spoke to Peter after the last supper. He told Peter that he would deny Jesus three times before the cock crowed. Peter said he never would. He said he loved the Lord. He just couldn't believe he would do such a thing trying all he could to please Jesus in all things. Nevertheless, Jesus must have seen something in Peter that he also needed to see in order for it to be evicted. When Peter saw what was happening to our Lord and Savior, the people that was about to crucify Jesus, looked around for the disciples. Peter feared for his life. Because of that fear, when the people asked if he knew Jesus, he said he didn't. He said it twice and to prove for the third time, he cursed. Then the cock crowed and he was reminded what Jesus had said to him. Peter grieved (Luke 22:34-62 AMP).

How can the intentions of a believer, being so pure still have something within that isn't? When being confronted with wrong doing, I have heard people say, "well, God sees my heart." As if that is a panacea to continue to do wrong. I've spoken to an elderly woman for a little over three years on a regular basis. She loves the Lord with all of her heart, yet when she is upset about a thing, she is quick to use a little profanity now and again (2 Timothy 2:15-16 KJV). At first I was surprised with the both of us coming from the same ministry and receiving the same training. I expressed my shock to her and she thanked me. She did give an excuse for why she now and again says the things that she does, but ended with that she was going to stop doing it. I also noticed when I asked how she was doing, I was surprised that she would give similar answers to that question as those that didn't know the Lord as she does. We had a talk about that as well. It wasn't as often as she was doing, it just didn't stop as I thought it would. After three years, I stopped talking to her about her behavior that would be foreign to righteousness. I didn't sign off to her being elderly and didn't know any better, I signed off to her liking the attention it gave amongst the other elderly people so that they would have something to continue to talk about. She came to my office to speak to me, as it is her practice to do. She then proceeded to tell me of her ailments and I didn't speak. She paused before continuing to complain about this and that. Still, I said nothing. When I looked at her expression, I distinctly saw her looking at me at the corner of her eye. It was as if she were hoping to stir me up to chastise her about her conversation. I still didn't say anything. She then got up to leave.

It was as if my time was being wasted saying the same things to her over and over again only for her to keep saying what she knew not to say. I was getting annoyed with her because she knew just as I do that the words of our mouths and the meditation of our hearts must be acceptable in His sight (Psalm 19:14 KJV). How then can we speak anything outside of what God says we are. Even if every single joint in your body aches it doesn't mean, it is what one who believes in righteousness should say. The words that would be fixed in our heart and mind would be, by His stripes I am healed (1 Peter 2:24 KJV).

This past weekend, I went to visit my mother. She is being rehabilitated to move from the hospital back to her home. She was having respiratory issues according to the doctors. When I visited her, I came in the room slightly annoyed. There was the very woman that introduced my Lord and Savior to me! How is it that she is in this hospital bed - still? I began talking to her about the Word. She conveyed to me that she has been saying the Lord's prayer and the 23rd Psalm which has got her through for the most part. That is good. Then I said something that caused a reaction. I said, "well Mom, its time to get that thing out of here so you can go to your home." I started with that and continued to speak on the Word. I didn't see her facial expression react at all, but she reached to grab the alert button to signal to the nurse. I asked what was the matter. She was making a request for her panic attack medication. What? As the nurse left, I asked my mother, "God didn't give you a spirit of fear but love, power, and a sound mind. Why are you taking this?" Her expression changed and I didn't know what else to say but to pray.

The Word tells us that we all come short of His glory (Romans 3:23 KJV). This conveys that there are times where we make mistakes, failed tests, and have said somethings that we shouldn't; nevertheless, it doesn't mean that God has turned His back on us for doing, saying, or thinking these things that aren't of Him. He has the requirement for us to walk in love. It is what we can hang all of the law and prophets on. If we love Him with all of our heart mind and strength and love our neighbor as we do ourselves, we are doing well. It is that love factor that keeps us clean (spot and wrinkle free). We have studied, much like Jesus, so we know how to act and react to every situation. It is our goal in life in order to have the life Jesus met His goal to give to us. It keeps us free.

A Heart Condition

Its funny what the medical profession says we have to do in order for us to have a healthy heart when we compare it to what God says that we have to do. The funny comes in when we take more stock in what the medical profession has to say as opposed to the Word which truly sets us free. It doesn't matter how healthy a body can be, when the Word is neglected the heart condition can be fatal.

The Word tells us that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks (Matthew 12:34 KJV). It also tells us to let the Words of our mouths and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable in His sight, O Lord, our Strength and Redeemer( Psalm 19:14 KJV). Another verse tells us to guard our hearts for out of it comes the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23 AMP). So when don't we adhere to these three scriptures for there to be such a heart condition? Have you ever wondered about people stating that their heart was broken for this or that reason and eventually they wind up in the hospital with a heart problem? Was it the words that were spoken to put them in that condition? What about couples in unresolved relationships and one of the two is with another? How is their heart? What is the emotions doing to that muscle at that given point in time; and over how many months or years does it have to recuperate, if at all. What if all of these people did all that the medical profession tells them and still with these matters of everyday life there is still a problem? Would the medical profession turn to the Word or is that your responsibility?

I was looking at the Housewives of New York, a reality program on Bravo, one of the housewives told her husband before they got married, "you have my heart, be careful with it." It sounded so poignant and perhaps quite beautiful in expression of one's love toward another; however, would that not be true for all couples who marry? When two people become one, don't they give themselves to the other? How else are they becoming one? When those promises are made before family, friends, and God aren't those two people making that life long commitment because they couldn't see themselves with any one else for as long as they live? So then what happens to the heart when those promises are broken and the two are torn from each other to become one again? What does the heart look like and does it give us all a visual as to why God hates divorce?

The turmoil each and everyone of us face because of the various aspects of life and how we deal with them, places much stress on our bodies and hearts if we allow it to do so (Philippians 4:6 AMP). The matters pertaining to other people and trying to change them for our own peace of mind is a task that is impossible; yet generation after generation still try to achieve this heart rendering work giving up years later with no change in sight.  Exhausted, the realization comes that the change is from within to make any situation better. Why does it take so long to realize this? Are we so selfish or conceited to believe we have made all of the changes we need to and now the problem is the other person and not ourselves?

A couple looking to marry soon has an argument (Colossians 3:13 KJV). He just finds out that his fiancée wasn't looking to have a family any time soon but plans to travel and have fun before she is too old to enjoy it. He was planning to have a family before he is too old to enjoy his children. When the realization strikes that their goals were too different to come to a compromise, he states, "I can't believe how retarded she is." Really? Who is the slow one here? Why didn't he know this about her already before getting so invested into the relationship? And when does a couple, who isn't married, allow the light to come on and hear God say, this person isn't for you? Does a couple have to argue all the way down the aisle, fuss through the vows, allow the children to hear the chaos between their parents before saying, "you know, we should have never got together." Who is slow among you?

God tempts no man to evil. If he/she is tempted to do something that is clearly defined in the Word not to do it, it is a character flaw and something we can all see in ourselves. This is God speaking. He tells us that He tries the hearts of men. Why would He do this? It is for us to see in ourselves where we need to improve upon to keep a healthy heart - a heart that is made for Him in order for us to have the peace He intended for us. God is good.