What if you found out that your friendship with a person wasn't beneficial to you. Would you remain friends with this person? I recall a message I heard from a well known pastor. He said that many times people won't witness to others because of the sacrifice of time it takes to make sure the new babe in Christ is alright. I didn't know how to digest that message at the time seeing that anyone who thought like that did away with Kingdom Living altogether seeing that it is based on Love in the first place. Sacrificing of oneself is the whole basis of Christianity. Isn't it written that we present these bodies a living sacrifice holy and acceptable unto God (Romans 12:1 KJV)? However, would that message apply to friendships?
We see celebrities with entourages all of the time. Why are all of these people around them? Because of love or of what they can obtain from the celebrity? Remember when MC Hammer had all of those people working for him in his hayday? He said these were his friends that he was helping them achieve a life outside of prison and a life where they had no future (paraphrasing). They worked hard on those dance videos. In fact it was the best musical act to date that Saturday Night Live ever had, in my opinion. But when all of that money was gone and he had to sell his mansion because of taxes, what happened to all of those friends. They made alot of money working for MC. Why didn't he speak so highly of anyone of them that helped him when he needed them the most? Were they even around? If he had a hit single, would he do the same thing now as he did then?
Is it a conundrum when we consider helping someone else for their benefit rather than our own? In the first part of this blog, I mentioned a four year friendship that, at the time, was a waste. I did back flips (exaggeration) to keep the peace in spite of her criticism of everything I did. Sometimes a conversation on the phone was just tiring. She wouldn't listen if what she had to say was more important. I would leave the phone and go do something else knowing she was still talking oblivious to being a blessing or a hindrance. I would then return and she never knew I left. She never stopped talking!
Would it be a sacrifice to maintain such a friendship? She would turn her phone off at night, so if I needed someone to pray with, I would not be able to reach her yet she could reach me at all hours. How much of a sacrifice is too much? When do we say, when. Jesus didn't allow just anyone to walk with Him who asked. He had criteria (as much as we would not like to believe). We think that come as you are means that we follow Him no matter what state we are in. Nope, we come as we are to church to hear the Word and in so doing, we are increasing our faith. Jesus told a certain man to go and sell all he had and then give the money to the poor before he could come follow Him. The man went away grieved (Luke 18:18-25 KJV). The Word doesn't tell us that he came back after following the instruction. The man in the cave that was possessed with many asked to follow Jesus and He said instead to go through all of the provinces and tell of what has happened to him (Mark 5:1-20 AMP). So then why would we sacrifice our own personal peace and well being just to maintain a friendship?
The message the pastor spoke about was of someone being selfish. If you found a baby having full knowledge that baby would be in need of the basics, even if you couldn't do it yourself, you would find someone who could. Could this not also be true of witnessing to someone. You might not have the time to call and check to see if the person is going to church or reading his/her bible on a regular basis, but you know of someone who could. How much does it take to sacrifice some of your time to pray for an individual? My purpose is for you not to be fooled. You might think it is a loving and humbling thing to do to incorporate someone in your life whose whole intent is to leech off of you, but I can write with total conviction, God did not intend for you to do this.
Remember the stories of the Old Testament. God gave and gave to the children of Israel and still they complained wanting more. Solomon was made the richest man in the world and still was disobedient marrying over 700 hundred women that did not have the same faith. Saul was given kingship and still went to look for a psychic for advice. You can only do so much and then when you see that what you are doing is enabling a person not to do for himself, you then are the hindrance. It is the same as helping a defenseless new born chick from the imprisonment of his shell. The moment you take the smallest piece from the chick, the chick stops trying thinking you will do it all if you've done that much. Eventually the chick dies because it never learned the struggle to survive.
Friendships shouldn't be so hard to figure out. You become friends because of initial common interests, the conversation is stimulating, there is a give and take and what you receive is as rich as what you gave. Its easy. Its one of the blessings in life that seem effortless. When you have to start screening your calls and avoiding any sort of contact with the other person - let it go. It isn't worth the acrobatics.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Friendship
After an intense conversation with a woman my son was dating exclusively, he text to ask me ,what is the point of friends? Initially, I chuckled to myself thinking how even those that are supposedly close to you can take you to a place that God would not consider righteous. Its where questions of common sense are and parents with their hair pulled out wondering where did he/she go wrong? Its the place where we left profanity and feeling anxious. Its where you don't wish to be and yet parenting can tempt us to get there rather quickly.The time it takes to calm down and repent would also cause one to wonder why have that person as a friend if he/she has the ability to take you from kingdom status?
The Word tells us that iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17 AMP). This is an excellent verse in describing true friendship. While spending time with one another, you can't help but to get to know their likes and dislikes. You learn personality quirks and become more acquainted with the traits that drew you both together causing you to remain friends; however in so doing there will also be those times where subjects discussed might have a difference of opinion. If the Word is used one of the two things can happen.
1. The Word is the truth and made to set us free (John 8:32 KJV). So the debate becomes nullified. The Word corrects that which is wrong; therefore, the opposing verbage is extinguished and true friendship resumes both having an understanding of the verse.
2. This is the iron sharpening iron part. The Word being analyzed and a sword, as believers, we all have one. Except when we have allowed the enemy to enter into one aspect of our lives (Ephesians 4:27 KJV). He will try to devour other things. If we don't quickly recognize where entrance took place and repent reminding God of His Word in our confessions/prayers, God will still cause our true friendship to hear what we don't. That would be a sign of the enemy at work and the dulling of our spiritual senses (Hebrews 5:11-12 AMP). It is the peace that extinguishes those fiery darts and Kingdom Living replaced where it belongs.
If the debate continues the Word can still be used. This is also a means of God telling you this person is not a real friend. If he/she opposes the Word even after it being made clear, then he/she will also oppose you when you need this person the most (Psalms 1:1 AMP).
Some Christians like to keep these truths hidden because they believe it is their own weaponry against the enemy. Problem with that is, how then would the rest of us Christians grow up? It is our duty to tell the babies and the children what to look for. We all must be alert in keeping the paths of righteousness plain (Proverbs 3:6 KJV), lest we stumble(Proverbs 3:19-22 AMP).
An elderly woman new to the community by which I am employed, asked if I could tell her age. She seemed to be in her 60's but was only too happy to correct me in stating the she is 82. I congratulated her for keeping herself fit. She continued to state that she has a friend of 45. The two of them get along so well. She was pleased to note that her friend takes her places and even paid to go to the salon to get her hair done. Yes, there was a second that I did think it odd for a woman my age to have so much in common with a woman of 82. As this woman continued to speak to me, I didn't think about the common trait of anyone being left alone for so long, would talk about any given subject matter if the one listening is interested or not, hence the reason for the supposed friendship. The next morning, early as it was, a medical alert went off that I had to tend to. In so doing, that same elderly woman was completely dressed and waiting in the lobby for her supposed girlfriend. After completing the medical alert task and paperwork, I was about to go back to my residence when that elderly woman tried to stop me by holding a conversation. Not only did she inform me that she was waiting for that close friend of hers but that she was going to be picked up by this close friend to babysit her children. "Have a good morning," I concluded the conversation with her and went into my apartment thinking what you are undoubtedly thinking yourselves. She is fooling herself!
How much would you withstand to continue a friendship that is only benefiting one? I separated myself from a 4 year friendship after realizing she seemed to be hanging on to receive the overflow of my blessing rather than being one herself. Isn't that what Lot did to Abraham? To a point one might overlook that because of mercy, grace, patience, and the like, but the never being able to live up to all of the criticism and not being perfect herself was a bit too much to tolerate especially if my personal Peace was being disrupted.
The Word tells us to have friends we must first be friendly (Proverbs 18:24 KJV). If friendships still aren't made then it is, again, one of two things:
1. You must be around a certain quality of people to be considered equally yoked to those God would have you call friends. As those who are young and very liberal enough to profess that we can be friends with anyone, I say be realistic. You know you wouldn't have just anybody come into your house because their mind set is not the same as yours. It is the reason your parents moved as the neighborhood changed. If you remain in an environment where people just don't care, then either you will become like them or rebel not knowing why until much later in years. Your parents desired better for you. While others who could not afford to move tried to instill in their children to behave differently even when their children saw something else everyday. To instill better values for that family would be difficult. This is why we choose friends that are better suited for the purposes we have in life and consequently can understand where we are headed. They would more than likely be supportive rather than a burden.
2. The other is that God is telling you to be content in whatever state that you are in (Philippians 4:11 AMP). If you don't have friends right now, count it all joy for you have a friend who is closer to you then any brother (Proverbs 18:24 NIV). He will never leave you alone.
The Word tells us that iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17 AMP). This is an excellent verse in describing true friendship. While spending time with one another, you can't help but to get to know their likes and dislikes. You learn personality quirks and become more acquainted with the traits that drew you both together causing you to remain friends; however in so doing there will also be those times where subjects discussed might have a difference of opinion. If the Word is used one of the two things can happen.
1. The Word is the truth and made to set us free (John 8:32 KJV). So the debate becomes nullified. The Word corrects that which is wrong; therefore, the opposing verbage is extinguished and true friendship resumes both having an understanding of the verse.
2. This is the iron sharpening iron part. The Word being analyzed and a sword, as believers, we all have one. Except when we have allowed the enemy to enter into one aspect of our lives (Ephesians 4:27 KJV). He will try to devour other things. If we don't quickly recognize where entrance took place and repent reminding God of His Word in our confessions/prayers, God will still cause our true friendship to hear what we don't. That would be a sign of the enemy at work and the dulling of our spiritual senses (Hebrews 5:11-12 AMP). It is the peace that extinguishes those fiery darts and Kingdom Living replaced where it belongs.
If the debate continues the Word can still be used. This is also a means of God telling you this person is not a real friend. If he/she opposes the Word even after it being made clear, then he/she will also oppose you when you need this person the most (Psalms 1:1 AMP).
Some Christians like to keep these truths hidden because they believe it is their own weaponry against the enemy. Problem with that is, how then would the rest of us Christians grow up? It is our duty to tell the babies and the children what to look for. We all must be alert in keeping the paths of righteousness plain (Proverbs 3:6 KJV), lest we stumble(Proverbs 3:19-22 AMP).
An elderly woman new to the community by which I am employed, asked if I could tell her age. She seemed to be in her 60's but was only too happy to correct me in stating the she is 82. I congratulated her for keeping herself fit. She continued to state that she has a friend of 45. The two of them get along so well. She was pleased to note that her friend takes her places and even paid to go to the salon to get her hair done. Yes, there was a second that I did think it odd for a woman my age to have so much in common with a woman of 82. As this woman continued to speak to me, I didn't think about the common trait of anyone being left alone for so long, would talk about any given subject matter if the one listening is interested or not, hence the reason for the supposed friendship. The next morning, early as it was, a medical alert went off that I had to tend to. In so doing, that same elderly woman was completely dressed and waiting in the lobby for her supposed girlfriend. After completing the medical alert task and paperwork, I was about to go back to my residence when that elderly woman tried to stop me by holding a conversation. Not only did she inform me that she was waiting for that close friend of hers but that she was going to be picked up by this close friend to babysit her children. "Have a good morning," I concluded the conversation with her and went into my apartment thinking what you are undoubtedly thinking yourselves. She is fooling herself!
How much would you withstand to continue a friendship that is only benefiting one? I separated myself from a 4 year friendship after realizing she seemed to be hanging on to receive the overflow of my blessing rather than being one herself. Isn't that what Lot did to Abraham? To a point one might overlook that because of mercy, grace, patience, and the like, but the never being able to live up to all of the criticism and not being perfect herself was a bit too much to tolerate especially if my personal Peace was being disrupted.
The Word tells us to have friends we must first be friendly (Proverbs 18:24 KJV). If friendships still aren't made then it is, again, one of two things:
1. You must be around a certain quality of people to be considered equally yoked to those God would have you call friends. As those who are young and very liberal enough to profess that we can be friends with anyone, I say be realistic. You know you wouldn't have just anybody come into your house because their mind set is not the same as yours. It is the reason your parents moved as the neighborhood changed. If you remain in an environment where people just don't care, then either you will become like them or rebel not knowing why until much later in years. Your parents desired better for you. While others who could not afford to move tried to instill in their children to behave differently even when their children saw something else everyday. To instill better values for that family would be difficult. This is why we choose friends that are better suited for the purposes we have in life and consequently can understand where we are headed. They would more than likely be supportive rather than a burden.
2. The other is that God is telling you to be content in whatever state that you are in (Philippians 4:11 AMP). If you don't have friends right now, count it all joy for you have a friend who is closer to you then any brother (Proverbs 18:24 NIV). He will never leave you alone.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
