Marriage: The Mirror Image

The common quote that is said amongst the Christian circles is, those that are single wish to be married and those that are married wish to be single again. Instead of tongue and cheeking it, why not look into the reason why anyone would say such a thing. First, was the person saying it as being married or single? Did he/she believe that to be true? If so, what is the plan for the rest of his/her life?

It has to be the eternity thing that has people saying the strangest things having nothing to do with Christianity. The Word tells us to be content in whatever state you are in (Philippians 4:11 KJV). Is speaking about the opposite of your marital status being content? It doesn't sound like it to the listener.

I was talking to a man who looked to be in his late 30's to early 40's. He is a married man and says that he is a Christian yet how he thinks is baffling. He told me that the internet has saved many marriages though, at the time, he didn't wish to be specific. I knew what he meant but really needed him to say it. eventually, he did so with guilt and shame. His salvation of marriage claim is porn. His reasoning comes from believing the 3 things most important to women and the 3 things most important to men. According to him, for women the 3 things are: security, family, and maybe sex. For men, according to him: sex, money, and if needing a third thing it would be children. I continued to listen to him as he made sweeping generalizations of what he believes women are thinking as opposed to men. I asked him if he and his wife had different perspectives why did he marry her? He used the analogy of starvation and sex to answer my question. This, I have heard before and is still no less comical to think of, especially from those calling themselves Christian. Nevertheless, when deciding to act on passions created without discipline, clarity is what is being sacrificed. The fog lifts when marital habits are put in place. Differences that should have been seen while dating are clearly defined in a marriage (1 Corinthians 7:28-36 AMP). Matters easily resolved by continuing the dating process are now much more difficult with vows professed in the presence of God, family, and friends. Because of these opposing matters, his resolve is pornography. With the admission of weakness, pornography only exacerbates any underlying unresolved issues. In other words, giving the enemy a place to do what he does (Ephesians 4:27 KJV). The enemy has only one job and is only terminated from it when the true believer gains new information from the Word (John 10:10 KJV).

In another entry on a different blog to Christian singles, I wrote about a co-worker coming into the realization of man being at fault for the state of the world. Men don't like to hear this, yet they know it is true. It wasn't unusual to hear men trying to defend their position and place blame on women or whomever else comes to mind; however, when I drive the conversation back to the Word, they almost look disappointed no matter the maturity level of faith what cannot be skirted is men was created first. He is the head of the house hold and the head of the woman. If he doesn't like what is going on - he can change it (Genesis 1:26 KJV). If he doesn't do anything about it, he can only blame himself (Mark 11:23 KJV).

With these things in mind, I asked this man who claims the salvation to marriage is porn, "why not tell your wife what you do?" His expression at that question was as if I asked it in Swahili. "I would never tell her that", he said. I didn't continue to ask him anything else about the matter. Whether he knew it or not, he just made drastic changes in his marriage. Its not only the pornography but the secrecy about it that will bring him a harvest he will definitely not like. God is not mocked; whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap (Galatians 6:7 KJV). Seeing that he has sown this seed, what is his wife doing?

It Was A Mistake

A mistake is a missed opportunity, a lapse in judgment, a wrong turn, a word spoken too soon, a signed contract based on the personality of a con artist, or a business deal gone awry. A mistake isn't repeated because it is costly whether it is financial, a person's time, or the direction of one's life.

Many car accidents come from the mistake of depth perception, running an amber light, not looking out of the correct mirror, or just plain arrogance. The same mistake is rarely repeated, if actually a mistake, because people value their vehicles. Trusting a Realtor with an attractive smile to purchase a house or a piece of land and later finding that the property has faulty wiring or flood damage is a mistake not repeated because people value not wasting their hard earned money. Allowing a stylist creative license with hair having the end result of looking crazy is never repeated because people value the opinions of others. A mistake isn't something fondly remembered nevertheless, is reminded of so not to do it again.

Using the phrase, a mistake, has been abused. People have had affairs, misappropriated funds, has run from the law, ruined families, people have lost their minds and lives based on someone stating that they have made a mistake.

A mistake is not a preconceived, premeditated, plan for action. People attend college and are trained for certain positions of employment so not to make a mistake especially while on the job. A doctor making a mistake makes him a liability. His/her insurance rates are too high to meet. Other doctors try not to associate themselves with a medical professional who has made a mistake. Police officers carry lethal weapons and have to rely on the months and months of training so not to withdraw their weapon too soon but soon enough so not to become the victim. A lawyer without the right strategy can make a mistake causing his/her client to receive an unjust punishment. A mistake for trained professionals is the difference between having a career and being unemployed.

In Christianity, a minister, speaker, or anyone calling themselves "the mouth piece of God" cannot have the luxury of stating that they have made mistakes. They have been to school and have had their own personal study. They have been in prayer and have a close, continuing relationship with God having taken on the responsibility of feeding the flock. He/she cannot afford to give the flock tainted or spoiled spiritual food. It is the difference of having a flock for the next sermon and closing the ministry down. There would be no reason for such a profession to make a mistake over that pulpit because of so many other factors have been set for such a thing not to happen. Much like a doctor or lawyer with the concentration being specifically on one subject so that he/she could do the best job for their client. The same with the clergy only not to be pleasing to man, but pleasing to God having still the assignment that has been given to them. After all, how many times have we heard that the pastor, minister, evangelist, preacher, or bishop have said that they have not taken their assignment lightly but has count it as an honor and a privilege?  How then would a mistake happen? How then could they have heard anyone else but the voice of the Good Shepherd (John 10:1-5 AMP)?

In that same vein, with a Christian couple knowing the basics of what is expected from the two of them that have become one in front of witnesses, how could a mistake happen within that couple? How could he/she be in an uncompromising position knowing not only that the vows spoken weren't just lip service but also that they have received the blood bought salvation of Christ, Who sees all? How could anyone with these factors in place (Christianity, the blood of the lamb, the anointing, a spouse, integrity, character, and the fruit of the Holy Spirit), then decide to embezzle funds from their place of employment, cheat on their taxes, lie to cover for a friend, manipulate to cause confusion, have an affair just to do it, plot revenge, continually be late on a job, start an argument to distract from the real issue, gossip, brag, or be a dead beat parent? All of which has been rationalized with - it was a mistake (2 Peter 2:20-22 AMP).

One of my favorite television shows for the last 20 years is COPS. It is the first reality show I believe that has come on T.V. and is credible. I watch the show and feel comforted that there are those that have been employed to uphold the law and no matter how fast the criminal runs, or cries, pleads for the officer to let him/her go with a warning, the officer doesn't say a word until he hears what is necessary from the device he has strapped to his shoulder. The information given back dictates what the officer will do to this person. If a repeating offender, there is no amount of tears that will sway the officer from doing his/her appointed assignment (Romans 13:4 AMP). It could be a traffic violation. If the offender did not appear in court at the date given, the judge issues a warrant for arrest. There is no skipping out on that court date. Once found, he/she will serve jail time. Those committing felonies, get the royal treatment especially if they run. Pepper spray, taser, canine officer, billy club, whatever device necessary to be used to subdue the non-complaint individual, it is used and well deserving because of the offense. It is written in scripture - I would suppose that's why it is so comforting to watch.


God is good. He is our Heavenly Father to those who believe. He is the creator of us all. How then would He allow for anarchy to continue and those perpetuating it to live a care free life. It doesn't happen for them and it would never happen to those who believe. Mistakes repeated are not mistakes. No one is fooled - not man and definitely not God. If man (in the authority of police, judge, or parole officer) doesn't take the opportunity to give correction, correction will be. God will see to it (Proverbs 2:8-10 AMP). Disregard what is written if that's what will make you feel better (Proverbs 1:7 AMP). Just know when making a plan, right it down. One is less likely to make mistakes. To call a foiled plan a mistake is deceptive. Deception is evil. With God being good, evil will never reign - ever!